Indiana Jones is one of the most iconic characters in all of American cinema, bringing the pulpy, swashbuckling characteristics from the days of theater serials to a modern audience. The brainchild of George Lucas and Steven Spielberg has adventured across screens and other mediums for the better part of four decades, but many people assumed we had seen the last of the character after the fourth film in the series, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, was released in 2008. And while that film isn’t as revered as the previous three, it if anything gave the character a somewhat satisfying ending. Yet there were still rumblings among movie goers that another film was needed, something to really be the big sendoff for an icon that could confidently close the books on the legendary franchise.

Well, it only took another 15 years to get there, with a now 80 year old Harrison Ford returning to reprise the character for what people are once again saying is the final time. And if Crystal Skull wasn’t more than enough proof it was time to hang it up, the Dial of Destiny solidifies it, and not exactly in a good way.

The Dial of Destiny is home to everything we know and love about the Indiana Jones franchise. Country-spanning adventures, dramatic action set pieces, scrappy sidekicks, big beefy henchmen, and one punch knock-outs. Yet the magic of the original trilogy and hell, even Crystal Skull, are sorely missing, with much of the film’s practical production being substituted with rubbery special effects, unconvincing CGI backdrops, and a sprinkling of lifeless de-aging. This glossy, overproduced sheen does not fit the film well, while the film’s long story is filled with a heavy sense of “been there done that”, leading to an underwhelming conclusion to one of film’s greatest characters.

Set in 1969, an elderly and weary Dr. Henry Jones has left the days of adventuring behind him, wallowing about as a college professor as the world threatens to leave him behind. That is until his goddaughter, Helena Shaw, approaches him about the findings of Archimedes’ Dial, an artifact found by Jones and her father that has the rumored power to allow people to travel through time. The two’s rocky relationship runs parallel to a group of secret Nazis also searching for the Dial, igniting a race across land and water to unlock the secrets the device may possess.

If there’s one person I can’t really fault here, it’s Harrison Ford. The man obviously has a deep connection to the character. You can see it in interviews and press junkets, and it always kind of makes me laugh seeing the night and day comparison between how he talks about Indiana and Han Solo. Here you can really tell Ford isn’t phoning it in, doing everything in his ability to make this performance work despite his age. Even if the story doesn’t do him too many favors, Ford’s grumpy old Indy carries a genuine sadness to him. His personal life didn’t turn out ideal, and with man about to set foot on the moon for the first time, the days of studying the history of the planet we’re on seem to be fading away. Even if he can’t move around like he used to, the character work from Ford has never been better. While the side characters don’t feel as memorable to past offerings, they’re at least serviceable and don’t completely sink the ship. Phoebe Waller-Bridge does a decent job as Indy’s goddaughter Helena, bringing a decent foil to Jones that never feels like she’s trying to usurp the titular character, but does manage to light a fire under his ass to get him going. It’s no Fleabag, but it’s fine enough. We also get another child sidekick akin to Shortround in Teddy, although I don’t think his chemistry with the leads lends itself to anything too emotional or humorous. As for the villains…I mean, they’re Nazis. Maybe not as loud and proud as past iterations, but they still fit the archetype we’ve grown accustomed to. I love Mads Mikkelsen, but his villain Dr. Schmidtt isn’t all that terrifying or interesting. His motives feel super unclear and the performance, while serviceable, just doesn’t allow him to stand out among the heart pullers and Cate Blanchet’s haircut. He’s flagged by a few cronies like the aforementioned big muscle head and a trigger happy mustache that, and I’m not kidding, has such a thick southern accent that I could not tell what he was saying for most of the movie. And I’m from the South. Could’ve used just a bit more inflection there.

One of the things I admire the most about the past Indiana Jones films is the action set pieces and stunt work. While not always super clean, there was always a clear and present sense of danger, thanks in part to the practicality behind each scene. Obviously stunt work has changed a ton since then with regards to safety and all that, but it’s hard to argue the quality of some modern action has definitely taken a dive. Films like John Wick manage to make it work for less money, so there’s really no excuse why a film like this can’t manage it. Most of the action sequences here have this uncanniness to them, never feeling truly present while being populated by computer generated ragdolls. The opening train sequence occasionally feels exciting, but you’re always painfully aware the actors are on a sound stage or in front of a green screen. It’s the same issue with a lot of big studio movies right now. Not enough time and effort is given to making these environments look convincing. It doesn’t help that we’ve got to look at a lot of fake Indy’s too. The de-aging here just isn’t all that convincing. It’s little things like the inside of his mouth not being properly textured that really ruins the mystique for me. In present day scenes we get a lot of face graphing onto stunt doubles that, in motion, are also unconvincing. Yeah, Harrison Ford is too old to probably do a lot of these stunts, but that should be more of a deterrent to make movies like this instead of injecting these video cutscenes into your live action film. 

Where the film worked for me is in its commitment to the historical sleuthing that’s found present in past films. It’s always fun to see Indy and company unravel clues and show off more of their intellect and understanding of what they’re after, and the script seems to show that the writers definitely did their homework and show a genuine talent in crafting an interesting mystery. I only wish that carried over into the overall narrative and character development, because I found most of the film to be way too long and far too hollow. Truthfully, this changes and delivers nothing new for the character or the series, with very little energy to aptly carry me through two and a half hours of film. Nearly every moment is built upon heavily treaded ground that does not beg to be repeated, yet the film insists on leaning on these elements without doing anything all that interesting. There’s only really one big swing the film takes, and that’s with its climax. I won’t spoil it and I know a lot of people hated it, but I actually respect the film a bit more for it. People will say its too unrealistic for a series that already includes aliens, a millenia old man guarding a cup, and the wrath of God itself, but I thought it was great in theory, just not in execution. Outside of that the rest of the film is just set piece after set piece filled with conveniences, unimpressive effects, and an overall yearning for the way things were.

The only thing this film really resonated with me was the intention to rewatch Kingdom of the Crystal Skull again to see if we judged it too harshly. Dial of Destiny replicates all the elements expected from an Indiana Jones film, but lacks the craftsmanship and heart to make it anywhere close to being on par with the previous films. Indy’s legacy is neither built upon or expanded in a way that feels meaningful, and the adventure itself is just a retread that probably could have worked in smaller doses, but not 150 minutes. Once again, it’s another sequel from a legacy franchise that’s banking on you wanting to see that character, theme song and aesthetics you enjoy rather than trying to do anything different or interesting. That might be enough for some, but I honestly expect more out of $300 million. Keep in mind that’s almost the price of 2 Top Gun: Mavericks, or 3 John Wick: Chapter 4’s, or 12 Everything, Everywhere, All at Once’s!

Rating

Antikythera

The Antikythera is the latest MacGuffin for Indiana Jones to find and protect from the Nazi’s, a mechanism capable of predicting openings in the timespace continuum through which one could potentially travel through to another time. While the real device it’s based on isn’t exactly as powerful, it’s no less an amazing example of the brilliance of ancient Greece’s inventors and philosophers. The Antikythera cocktail is an ode to Indiana Jones as well, combining Indy’s rough and tumble American aesthetic with the more out-there, jungle-dressed locals he’s visited over the decades. The cocktail is a blend of whiskey and rum, flavored with pineapple, almond and peach, presented in a tiki style appearance.

Ingredients

• 1.5oz rye whiskey
• 1/4oz overproof rum
• 1/2oz almond liqueur
• 1/2oz coconut water
• 1oz pineapple juice
• 1/2oz lemon juice
• 2-3 drops peach bitters
• Garnish: Lemon wedge
• Garnish: Mint sprig

Instructions

1. Add ingrdients to a shaker and shake with ice.
2. Strain over crushed ice in rocks glass.
3. Garnish with mint sprig and lemon wedge.