It’s been a hell of year for movies and cocktails. As always I cap off the new year with the seemingly impossible task of ranking every single new film I saw this year. Please note that these rankings are purely based off my own personal taste and may not reflect yours, and that’s okay! Also, there’s obviously quite a few 2023 films missing from here (well, not a few, more like a few hundred), so if you don’t see a certain film on here I either wasn’t able to get a viewing of it or maybe it just didn’t peak my interest enough. Below you can find links to videos covering the best and worst of the year, along with some jumping points to let you hop over to whatver section of the list you’d like to go to. Be sure to let me know what your favorite films of 2023 were down in the comments!
#73. Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey
Perhaps the laziest waste of potential I saw this year. The iconic bear’s move to the Public Domain list is sure to bring out some truly heinous adaptations, and what a way to kick it off! The film is your typical run of the mill, low budget slasher that just so happens to include Winnie the Pooh and his friends. The highlight of the film is its first few minutes, where we are treated to a short animation of how the residents of the 100 Acre Woods went crazy after Christopher Robin left, and unfortunately, it’s all down hill from there. A super generic plot and execution are made even worse thanks to a lack of any real creativety or ironic silliness that could have at least put this into “so bad it’s good” territory. The scares are ineffective, the gore is cheap and unconvincing, the editing is horrendous, and the story is a slog to sit through. There’s been some rough horror movies this year, but this has to be the least redeaming of the bunch and is easily the worst film I saw in 2023.
RATING: .5/5
#72. Teen Wolf: The Movie
Maybe it’s unfair to put this film so low considering I’ve never really watched the series, but certainly something better could have been pulled together for this finale. This really has it all; a boring and contrived plot, actors whose best performances (and possible interest in the franchise) are long behind them and are only here for a fat check, special effects so terrible I thought I was watching an episode of Goosebumps from the 90s, a generic score that constantly peaks over the characters’ dialogue, and far too many editing and continuity blunders to count. If you’re a fan of the show, I can only imagine this would give you only the most miniscule amount of joy possible. You probably deserved better than this. I certainly did, and I didn’t even watch the show.
RATING: 1/5
#71. Clock
I could totally get behind a horror film centered around the pressures of the world telling you to have kids. It’s a hot button issue stemming from forced gender norms and growingly outdated societal influences. But hot damn, there’s surely a better way to do it than this. Most of the film is incredibly boring, filled with some of the most heavy handed, unsubtle commentary I’ve seen in a while. It insists on telling you every single message rather than letting the story naturally illustrate that to you. The performance suffer from the weak writing, while it disturbing visuals often come off as comical as the film’s story starts to really fly off the rails. It’s unappealing visuals and aesthetic do little to help as well. It’s origins as a short film are apparent, because the idea feels stretched beyond its capabilities, at least in this capacity. By the end I had little on my mind about the themes and commentary of the film. All I knew is that I was just put through some real clock and ball torture.
RATING: 1/5
#70. You People
WHO was in Paris???
Written and presented exactly how you would think it would go. Two families of two different backgrounds and life experiences struggling to co-exist as their kids hope to continue a romantic partnership. It’s unenlightening, centrist cliche political message thinks it’s being much more insightful and edgy than it actually is, all while utilizing the same cringey, overtly-woke identity politics most people on both sides can’t even find funny ironically anymore. While there’s occassionally a few laughs to be had, you’re usually left with shuffling through a bland romance, an unlikable (and astonishingly deshevled) lead performance from Jonah Hill (who also co-wrote this) and a cardboard cutout of Eddie Murphy. If you really want the true, peak version of this film, just go watch the Jonah Hill and Ice Cube scenes from 22 Jump Street. They’re a lot shorter and a lot funnier.
RATING: 1.5/5
#69. Slotherhouse
You’d be an absolute fool if you saw even the name of this film and thought it should be taken seriously. It’s an outlandish premise for sure, but even with that you should still try to actually be funny. The commentaries on social media, popularity and internet fame have been done to death, with this film potentially being the most annoying use of these themes that I’ve seen in a while. Scenes go on for far too long trying to squeeze out Mean Girls style riffing that just feel so inorganic and try-hard. The puppet work for the film’s killer sloth is delightfully crappy, but the charm of the absurd idea runs out very quickly. The slasher genre is filled with slow, lumbering killers, and I feel like this film could have been the perfect oppurtunity to lampoon that, but they rarely take advantage of the idea. Shot incredibly flat like a Disney Channel Original and filled with some of the worst royalty free pop songs I’ve heard in my life, Slotherhouse lives up to the name by being too slow to ever actually reach the point of being enjoyable.
“It’s camp! It’s supposed to be camp! Camp this! Camp that!”
Why don’t you CAMP outside the theater and get in line for Dune 2?
#68. Ghosted
As someone hoping to write his own films one day, I’d be lying if I said the push towards A.I. as a “tool” for writing didn’t frighten me. But then I see films like this…a film so out of touch, so bland, so factory generated. Imagine my shock when I find out A.I DIDN’T write this. I may actually side with the machines after this. Ghosted is a flat, unoriginal spin on the spy-romcon genre that possesses a severe lack in charm or enticing performances. You know your two leads have great chemistry when the movie has to constantly tell you how much sexual tension is between them. Believe it or not, Chris Evans is miscast in my opinion. I really could have seen Ryan Gosling doing his Nice Guys pansy schtick to a rousing success here, but Evans, and by extension de Armas, just aren’t believable here. The cinematography is uninspired while the choreography lacks any real weight behind it. The needle drops are equally egregious. An Uptown Funk shootout sounds like a meme but it’s all too real, and in 20 god damn 23 of all years! This film quickly spiraled down the drain of my memory as soon as the credits rolled, so save yourself 2 hours and just skip this one.
Add it to the list of “money laundering schemes disguised as movies”, right up there with Red Notice.
RATING: 1.5/5
#67. Scream VI
There is perhaps no horror franchise I’m more sick of (now that Halloween is buried for the next few years) than the Scream franchise. What is there to like in this film that can’t be found done better, even in its own prior movies? Is it fun to guess who the killer is? Sure, but I found this one to be incredibly obvious from very early on, and there’s no real fun in deducing who it was to begin with. Are the kills fun? Well, they’re fairly gory, but a lot of them are just boring knife play without any real creativity. Gone are the days of killing people with garage doors I suppose. Is it a fun subversion or critique of horror tropes? No, it’s the same as the first where it thinks acknowledging the cliches while still committing to those cliches makes it clever. The original could get away with it because it was unique for the time and worked with those characters better, now it’s just playing the hits. Is it witty with a little bit of dark comedy? I don’t think I chuckled a single time. The “comedy” does not work in the slightest, neither playing into the absurdity of the story or lightening the mood when needed. Is it scary? It has some decently tense moments, like the subway scene, but most of the scares and surprises are telegraphed and predictable. I don’t think I’m just a jaded film snob who’s too good for slashers and horror movies. I’m into film BECAUSE of horror movies, and there’s other movies out there doing this schtick better. Just look at X and Bodies, Bodies, Bodies from last year. Both took familiar horror archetypes and setups while injecting somewhat unique identities into them. I genuinely don’t see where else this franchise can go without completely jumping the shark. The sixth installment is a predictable, uninteresting, weakly written rehash that plays out like a high budget, straight to DVD slasher refusing to let go of the past because it’s all it has to garner attention.
“Who gives a fuck about movies!?”
Ironic.
RATING: 1.5/5
#66. Ant-Man and The Wasp: Quantumania
“And Kevin Feige wept, as there were no worlds left to conquer.”
That’s basically how I feel about current MCU. They’ve topped the box office, dominated the pop culture zeitgeist, and created a new generation of cinema, for better or for worse. Back then Marvel was fighting, building towards something that had never really been done before. They more or less succeeded, but now, what do they have to work towards?
More money. That’s it. Make as much money as they can with as little effort as possible. Pump out the most lazy, cliche ridden scripts they can, spend half the budget on the stars who probably wish they could be doing anything else by now, and stuff in as many references and winks to the source material and hope that will be enough to satisfy people.
We could be at the end of an era here, and I hate to say it, but it’s for the best.
RATING: 1.5/5
#65. Meg 2: The Trench
A dumb movie, but not the kind of dumb where the stupidity comes from the film’s silliness or over the top antics that make it fun to watch, but the kind of dumb that stems from an inability, or an unwillingness, to do anything all that interesting with your plot and characters. Inconsistent tone, dull character archetypes, and unfunny writing are just some of the cornerstones of this underwhelming, inoffensive sequel. Good for a half-hearted laugh, but don’t you wanna laugh with your whole heart?
Like dinosaurs, sharks may no longer be cool.
RATING: 1.5/5
#64. The Exorcist: Believer
There are inklings of effort towards coming even a fraction of a fraction to the impressiveness that is the original The Exorcist. The somber tone and themes of loss of innocence are prevelant, but like many other legacy sequels, this film just can’t bring anything new or unique to the table to justify its existence. Believer leans so much on the original film, from its iconography to its original characters, that it forgets to craft it’s own identity that can properly do the original film justice. Perhaps the biggest cardinal sin this film commits is it’s just not scary; atmospheric at times, but it never managed to shock or disturb as much as its script made me roll my eyes. An incredibly forgettable film, but not forgettable enough because it looks like we’re still getting those two sequels.
RATING: 2/5
#63. Shazam! Fury of the Gods
It’s been quite an underwhelming year for DC. While the future may look bright thanks to a new direction and new leadership, we’re still left with the mess of a cinematic universe that closed out this year. While The Flash is certainly a mess of a film, I at least kind of expected that from the getgo. However, I actually liked 2019’s Shazam! for the most part, but its sequel was a huge step down from those expectations and is why I have this film placed lower. Occassionally the cast can be charming (though I’ve more or less soured on Zachary Levi) in this role, and sometimes the film can land a joke. The beginning isn’t actually all that bad, but man does it nosedive from there. There’s no noteworthy development or growth for the characters, while the villains are wasted oppurtunities for good actors. It loses the emotional strengths of the first by diverging into an underwhelming, big super hero team up film, with one of the worst endings to a DCEU film I’ve seen in quite a while.
RATING: 2/5
#62. The Flash
The most enticing thing about this film actually doesn’t come from the film itself, but moreso the road it took to get here. This seemed to be the film DC wanted to put all of its chips into, and man, could they not have been more wrong. Grating and ugly to look at, this had to be one of the most headache enducing DC films I’ve seen in quite a while. Ezra Miller manages to pull some decent emotion into the role and story, but it still doesn’t change the fact that their interpretation of the Flash is just too annoying to get behind. Michael Keton’s role in the film at times feels like he’s in a Super Bowl commercial, while other actors like Sasha Calle and Michael Shannon are left to the mercy of the nonsensical story. Visually, the film is just embarassing, whether it be its rubbery puppets of dead actors, gross color grading or ugly landscapes. Despite sparks of attempts to tell and actually compelling story, I’m fine with this one zooming right by me, never to enter my thoughts again.
RATING: 2/5
#61. Five Nights at Freddy’s
While it may carry the aesthetic and designs of the mega-popular game that inspired it, this film is far more pre-occupied with adding little winks and nods to the series rather than adequately carrying over what made it so successful in the first place. Don’t you just hate it when a horror movie forgets to be scary? There’s no tension, suspense or even good jump scares to be found, doing the bare minimum for the fans in hopes they’ll come out in droves to see that big, sexy bear on the big screen.
RATING: 2/5
#60. The Little Mermaid
This year may very likely go down as one of the worst years for Disney both financially and critically, and not even a live-action remake of a beloved classic could save it (how shocking). While I do give the film props for allowing the characters and their relationships to be fleshed out more, I still don’t see a huge reason for this to exist other than that sweet, sweet cashgrab. The songs (outside of the ones Halle Bailey performs) just feel like cheap imitations, while the original songs are unneccesary and lacking in the charm of the original. The undersea world is often awash by so-so special effects that may be colorful and eye-popping, but lose their magic when you’re allowed to look at them for too long. It’s not the worst thing in the world, but hardly something I want to be part of my world.
RATING: 2/5
#59. Jung_E
Train to Busan is a super fun zombie flick directed by Yeon Sang-ho, but after watching his latest film for Netflix, I can’t help but wonder if that film was just lightning in a bottle. Granted, there’s a lot of interesting ideas and some cool visuals at play here, but neither of these come together to create a total package. The acting and writing are pretty bad at times and while some of the effects are pretty good, a lot fo the CGI backgrounds just too fake thanks to uneven lighting and flat textures. Any meditations on concsiousness and what it means to be human never really reach a meaningful plateu, leaving the film to be boring and forgettable. If you want a much better reflection on similar topics, be sure to check out 2022’s After Yang.
RATING: 2/5
#58. Next Goal Wins
Recently I feel like I’ve woken up in another world where Taika Waititi was never the next, hottly rising director that everyone thought he would be. Ignoring his victories on the small-screen like Our Flag Means Death and Reservation Dogs, Waititi’s most recent forays into feature films have been incredibly disappointing for me. Thor: Love and Thunder was a huge step down from its phenomenal predecessor, and now this adaptation of a real life American-Samoa soccer team seems to be following suit. All the charm and humor that made me fall in love with this director years ago seems to just be slowly slipping away. I found this film to be flat, insincere, and at times agressively unfunny. The story tries its hand at throwing a ton of emotional swings into the narrative, but sometimes they just end up being unintentionally comical. You don’t really feel any substantial progression for the team, while many characters ultimately lack actual…well, character. At times it looks to parody the sports biopic genre, but some of these choices just cut the wind out of the narrative, like the resolution to the final game being intercut with it actually happening and another character saying what is happening. I think it’s worth noting that parody is usually supposed to be funny as well. I’ll give points for a somwhat decent handling of a real life trans athlete, which ultimately probably should have been the main focal point of the film.
Also, the climactic game doesn’t even end on a “next goal wins” ruling? What?
RATING: 2/5
#57. Knock at the Cabin
On the surface, this film seems relatively fine. It’s certainly not the worst of M. Night Shyamalan‘s offerings, though at times it does contain some of usual trappings like his weak, almost impersonal dialogue. The performances are well and good enough, while the setup is genuinely interesting, sort of like a twisted Would Your Rather question. Where my biggest gripes about the film come from is Shyamalan’s complete negligence of the message and intention that comes from the book this film was inspired by. In my eyes, it completely undermines the heart of the film and turns it from challenging to incredibly surface level. Without that prior knowledge this film might be okay, but knowing this and seeing what we ultimately got has soured my opinion on the film for sure.
RATING: 2/5
#56. We Have a Ghost
An interesting follow up to We Bought a Zoo, where Matt Damon is killed by one of the animals and ends up haunting the next family to buy the zoo.
Not really, that’d be too good of a concept. Instead we get a mildly humorous film that doesn’t really manage to make any noteworthy commentary on the aspects it targets, like internet fame. Trying to shove too many ideas into the narrative definitely doesn’t help, though I did get a decent amount of enjoyment from how dark and morbid it can get at times considering its rating. But really, the only reason you might find yourself watching We Have a Ghost is if You Need Some Background Noise.
RATING: 2.5/5
#55. Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre
Yet another dull, straight-to-DVD feeling action flick from Guy Ritchie, who usually manages to have some kind of unique voice on ocassion. It plays out like most other Statham led action flicks, where the character is mostly flawless and has the depth of a puddle. Even weclome performances from Aubrey Plaza and Hugh Grant aren’t enough to make this film even remotely interesting at its core, only really being saved by decent action and occassionally quippy writing.
RATING: 2.5/5
#54. The Marvels
Though not the worst offering from Marvel this year, it’s still far from the best. While the 3 leads are fun to follow, they don’t get a ton of meaningful growth or character moments. The villain is instantly forgettable, yet the effects aren’t as offensively bad as some of Marvel’s past films. Ultimately, it’s just fine, which is all Marvel seems content with making these days, if they’re lucky.
RATING: 2.5/5
#53. It Lives Inside
What could have been an interesting expansion of Hindi lore and mythology to western audiences ends up being an underwheling, by the numbers horror flick that can already be found in other shapes and sizes. While occassionally achieving some semblance of tension, the film ultimately fails to deliver on anything all that intriguing or exciting, falling back on common horror tropes and expectations that keep this film from reaching the potential it could have.
RATING: 2.5/5
#52. The Pope’s Exorcist
This MCU-ification of the exorcist genre is surprisingly not as a dull as I expected, mostly due in part to Russel Crowe’s hammy performance as the lead exorcist. He manages to inject a tad bit of humor and silliness into this very overexposed genre, which at least felt somewhat refreshing. Other than that, this is as by the numbers as you might expect, with the supporting performances never really bringing enough to the table to match Crowe. If you’ve seen one, you’ve most likely seen most of them, and other than a slightly lighter tone, you’re not really going to find much different here.
RATING: 2.5/5
#51. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny
When franchises are left to to the control of profit-drive corporations, they’re bound to eventuall overstay their welcome. We though Indiana Jones had already reached this point after Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, but little did we known there was still more to be drained from this franchise. Harrison Ford’s heart may be in the right place, the film’s overreliance on computer generated environments in leau of the franchise’s more practical backgrounds makes this feel like a needless addition. Indy’s legacy doesn’t really find the meaningiful closure it was looking for, while it’s overly long runtime makes the film overstay it’s welcome, resembling a digitally resurrected husk of what the series once was.
RATING: 2.5/5
#50. Blue Beetle
Even with its inklings of charm, Blue Beetle underwhelms by playing it safe with a fairly generic origin story that does little to stand-out in the oversaturated market of superhero films. The effects and action deliver on decent visual eye candy, but a weak script and underdeveloped heroes and villains keeps this film from being anything more than forgetable.
RATING: 2.5/5
#49. M3gan
A self-aware comedy isn’t always a terrible thing, and in some regards, M3GAN manages to be one of the more enjoyable ones. The premise is silly and tongue in cheek, yet can be incredibly simple with how it approaches its horror and humor. The performance of the titular android is certainly the highlight, but the film doesn’t do much with this “evil AI” sub-genre to make it more memorable.
RATING: 2.5/5
#48. The Super Mario Bros. Movie
As a lifelong Mario fan, this was a joy to watch my childhood finally make it to the big screen in an accurate and faithful way. But as a movie fan, I found this to be painfully generic with everything from its narrative to its writing to its song choices. It takes the most bare bones approach to the story that is only elevated by the iconic visuals. Without that coat of paint, I would have hated this a lot more than I did.
RATING: 2.5/5
#47. Cocaine Bear
Despite its admittedly nutty premise, the film never fully capitalizes on the craziness a plot like this should offer. It does have its moments in both comedy and violence, but its never consistent enough in moments or quality. This also has to be one of the most bizarrely edited films I’ve seen this year, sometimes feeling like scenes were meant to be shot but never were. This had the potential to bring schlocky, B-movie vibes to the mainstream, but it ends up towing the (coke) line for me between good and bad.
RATING: 2.5/5
#46. Saw X
The Saw franchise had more or less run its course for me, but I did find its 10th installment to have some bright spots. The return to the film’s roots makes for a mostly contained thriller filled with some truly gnarly (but also some underwhelming) traps involving all types of bodily mutilation. While I’m glad to see Tobin Bell back as Jigsaw, the way the film tries to frame him in this anti-hero light just feels laughably misguided. Props to the team for finding ways to keep the premise from getting too stale, but I do think it’s time to lay this franchise to rest.
RATING: 2.5/5
#45. Renfield
I’d show up to theaters for the premise of Nicholas Cage as Dracula alone, but I did find myself having a decent enough time with this. The cartoonish violence is okay and I honestly found the comedy to be mostly solid. However, I do feel like these positives begin to teeter off as the film goes on, as side plots begin to get shuffled in that don’t do too much to benefit the key story of master vs. minion. Still, the lead performances bring a decent amount of charm into the mix, making this not great, but definitely better than it could have been.
RATING: 2.5/5
#44. A Haunting in Venice
After last year’s Death on the Nile, I had all but given up on ever enjoying a Kenneth Branagh / Agatha Christie adaption. Yet there was something about this film that warmed up to me. Maybe it could be Branagh had finally found the perfect story to adapt that could allow him to be a bit more creative without diverting too much from a beloved tale. Maybe it’s the introduction of horror elements, even if they are pretty lacking and underwhelming. Whatever it may be, I did find myself enjoying the cast and writing, managing to be both witty and mysterious. It’s not perfect, as it does fumble its new genre addition in my eyes, but this is much better than its predecessor at the least.
RATING: 3/5
#43. Sisu
What do you get when you take the main idea of John Wick and stick the character against Nazis at the end of World War 2? Pretty much what you’d expect, but that might not sound too bad to you. Granted, the simplistic plot and character are benefitted by some properly bloody and at times creative scenes of action, like a guy staying under the water longer by slitting the throat of the men who jump in after him and breathing the air escaping their throats. It’s decently made, yet a bit too one-note for me, which could just come from an over-exposure to this style of story. Fun for what it is, yet lacks the flashiness of a John Wick film, which is a bit more tailored to my preferences.
RATING: 3/5
#42. Shin Kamen Rider
I had little to no connection to the Kamen Rider franchise, but I was intrigued by this film due in part to director Hideaki Anno‘s previous work with Shin Godzilla. The 3rd film in his “Shin” series, Shin Kamen Rider is a blast of low-budget superhero adrenaline filled with quirky, throwback character designs and at times an ample amount of brutality. I do think the pacing sways a bit too much and the plot can get quite confusing if you aren’t familiar with the IP. However, if you are mostly familiar with American super hero movies, you may be pleasantly surprised by how refreshing this can be. Sure, the effects can sometimes look a bit goofy, but I think it just adds to the charm of the film. There’s quite a bit of impressive action and stuntwork to behold here, and I would definitely recommend you check this out if you’re looking to throw sense out the window and get a little weird.
RATING: 3/5
#41. Gran Turismo
Technically this is a video game movie, and technically that makes this one of the best that unfortunate sub-genre has to offer. Sure, it’s a commercial for Sony at the heart of it, but there’s still some genuinely impressive craftmanship put into the presentation of the races and being behind the wheel of one of these land rockets. Despite its kind of generic story, I do think the film manages to put enough spice into its adrenaline-fueled races to make this a decent enough watch.
RATING: 3/5
#40. Totally Killer
A cross between Happy Death Day and Back to the Future might sound too stupid to work, and maybe that’s ultimately true. However, I was pleasantly surprised by this film, mostly when it comes to the script which actually got some genuine laughs out of me. The film manages to inject some silly time travel shenanigans into an otherwise generic slasher film, managing to avoid being too convoluted just enough to make this an enjoyable watch. Some of the humor does get repetitive with its “ugh, the 80s were so problematic” schtick, but there’s just enough dumb fun here to make me somewhat forgiving.
RATING: 3/5
#39. The Creator
This should’ve been much higher on the list. It had the look, the setup, the potential. It should have been the victory for original cinema we needed, and some respects it is. For $80 million dollars, this blows a ton of 9 digit budget films out of the water visually. The world building and designs are familiar, yet expertly crafter, while director Gareth Edwards once again utilizes his expert understanding of scope and granduer to give the film the bigtime feel a story like this deserves. Unfortunately, the “story” itself isn’t exactly up to snuff with the visuals. It’s incredibly generic and surface level, with the dialogue sounding like first draft musings. Its very common themes of the blurring lines between man and machine are presented in a rather unoriginal way, which really undercuts the spectacle of the visuals and effects. What could have been the next Star Wars may unfortunately be lost in the footnotes of sci-fi, but I could see it maybe gathering a cult following in a few years.
RATING: 3/5
#38. Creed 3
Michael B. Jordan’s directorial debut is an admirable addition to the Rocky extended universe. Though I think it lacks a bit of the heart and technical proficiency of the first film, the performances are still solid (even he who must not be named). The anime influences are apparrent in the boxing scenes, which at least gives the film a unique feel compared to the previous 2. Its focus on masculinity and what it means to be a man isn’t expanded upon in a super meaningful way (though it does have a bit more depth than Creed 2), but it still shows decent enough promise for Jordan’s future as a director.
RATING: 3/5
#37. Air
Essentially a glorified Nike/Michael Jordan commercial, yet I don’t deny that the script does have some strengths, paitcularly in the dialogue department. It’s very straightforward and isn’t mind blowing or anything, but it’s a decent enough watch.
RATING: 3/5
#36. Saltburn
A provacative and shocking film about the dangers of the Irish. I think? Truthfully, I don’t really know what the end goal of this film was. It feels like an “eat the rich” type tale, yet it’s merciless treatment of the top 1% doesn’t feel as gratifying as it could be due in part to paticularly deranged protagonist who doesn’t really stand for anything. The shocking moments will definitely make some squirm, yet I couldn’t help but grow numb to these scenes as they get more and more ridiculous and begin to lose impact. The last climax is a bit of a clusterf*ck, promising big reveals that were already apparent half an hour ago. Still, the film is competently directed and the visuals are quite stunning. This is actually the last film of 2023 I saw, so it’s still relatively fresh in my mind and I haven’t had a ton of time to sit with it. There’s definitely good and bad to take from here, so for now I’m settling for a middle of the road rating.
RATING: 3/5
#35. No One Will Save You
Fairly tense and shot beautifully and intelligently, but man I can’t remember the last time a film completely lost me in the last act. It really makes you reconsider your feelings about the protagonist, which I guess is fairly interesting. The alien designs are classic even if not super interesting, but the sound design really sells them in my eyes. The no dialogue at times kind of feels gimmicky, but it does lead to some creative means of storytelling that take great advantage of the medium. Could have been so much greater without those last few minutes in my opinion, aiming to apply deeper meaning to a film that truthfully didn’t really need it.
RATING: 3/5
#34. Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
A surprisingly fun time that actually puts effort into its visual presentation through great props, puppets, animatronics, costumes, and physical sets. The cast is charming if not a bit one note, and the comedy can be pretty solid though a bit inconsistent. I wish there could have been a better main villain and I wish the story wasn’t as conventional as it was, but I think this does a great job at capturing the comradery and off the wall thinking that comes with a DND campaign.
RATING: 3/5
#33. Missing
There’s a genuinely intriguing mystery in here, but I do think it’s hindered by the over reliance on the computer screen gimmick and twists that just seem to pile on. The structure of the film really forces the story to generate a lot of conveniences in order to make the idea work, but sometimes it’s just too forced. The performances are fairly decent even if the writing isn’t the best, with Storm Reid continuing to impress me. While I do think it starts off pretty weak and ends in kind of a tired and silly way, I won’t lie that I was at least engaged through the bulk of the film’s mystery.
RATING: 3/5
#32. The Hunger Games: A Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes
The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes does an exceptional job at fleshing out the series’ world and lore, while providing an intriguing glimpse into the rise of one of the series’ most prominent characters. It does a lot right with keeping in the spirit of the series while still managing to surprise with its darker moments. A Part 1 and 2 could have been useful in further developing the characters and relationships, but as is this is a solid dystopian film about the overextension of power used to gruesomely punish a lower class whose dehumanization is supported by thinly veiled fear and propaganda. Man, good thing that’s never happened or is currently happening in real life!
RATING: 3.5/5
#31. Napoleon
Despite this being a very straightforward and at times admittedly bland interpretation of France’s most prominent ruler, I still gotta respect the level of craftsmanship on display here. It’s big, it’s loud and it’s streamlined in a way that will make it easy for most moviegoers to get into. Phoenix is still one of the best actors alive, with his worm of a performance being an absolute delight to watch. Even with the expert attention to technical detail, its lack of voice does hold it back from being something truly unique, at times playing out like a Wikipedia article come to life.
RATING: 3.5/5
#30. Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning Part 1
Even if it doesn’t exactly exceed some of its most recent predecessors, this is still a hell of a good time and a masterclass in action set pieces. While the conflict doesn’t have too many interesting layers to it, I do like how it is semi-related to the ongoing conversation on AI. The characters are still charming, even if they don’t get a ton of progression to work with. Still, from yellow buggy car chases to dance club beatdowns, this film didn’t not deserve to bomb like it did and is definitely worth a watch.
RATING: 3.5/5
#29. The Royal Hotel
A tense, claustrophobic “survival” film about power dynamics and toxic masculinity. Well acted and paced, it does lack a super satisfying conclusion that squander the build-up a bit. Even still, the road to get there is at least lined with powder kegs ready to blow at any second, as lines blur on who you can trust. Some of the writing does feel contrived in order to create dilemnas for our main characters, but the film manages to at least be better than the sum of its parts.
RATING: 3.5/5
#28. Wonka
A colorfully sweet and sparkling musical, anchored by a decent performance from Timothee Chalamet and a very fun cast. The songs are fun if not a bit samey at times, while the set design crafts an incredibly intriguing world to enjoy. It’s still far from capturing the wonder or even the underlying darkness of the original story, but it’s hard to hate a film this cheerful that isn’t as artificial as I expected.
RATING: 3/5
#27. The Iron Claw
Creeps towards inevitable tragedy with a welcoming amount of patience and care. It’s subdued nature is both a strength and a hindrance, as it allows the subject to be approached with ample maturity yet occasionally the film doesn’t really know how or when to deliver that breath stealing “oomf” I was looking for. All stars involved do a wonderful job, with Efron truly disappearing into his role of suffering in silence. The script occasionally doesn’t favor the performances though, often being too surface level and direct, which counters the more meditative voice brought forth by the camerawork and framing. As an avid wrestling fan, I was delighted to see the recreation of the territory days in a way that felt fairly authentic while still preserving some of the mysticism the sport had at the time. Though less focused on the sport itself and more the tragedy that befell it, the story does fall into a bit of a repetitive loop as one bad thing happens after another. Still, the emotions are genuine and the heartbreaks are undeniable.
RATING: 3.5/5
#26. Blackberry
A hectic, almost voyeuristic interpretation of the titular company’s rise and fall, taking what could have been a cut and dry biopic and turning it into a hilariously tense experience. A fairly average story is elevated by attention grabbing performances and guerilla-style cinematography that makes it feel like you’re experiencing the company’s success and downfall all in real time.
RATING: 3.5/5
#25. They Cloned Tyrone
July 21st was undeniably a day dominated by two films: Oppenheimer and Barbie. Yet, there was a third film released on the same day that was unceremoniously swept under the rug. They Cloned Tyrone is a very fun mash of sci-fi and blaxploitation, led by a trio of stellar stars delivering some of their career best performances. Its satirical approach to the commodification of black culture is both timely and clever, weaving an intriguing narrative of conspiracy that just gets more bizarre the deeper you go. Finally, the gritty visual aesthetic gives the film a grounded edge that pairs nicely with some of its more sci-fi elements, and it’s an absolute shame this film got as overlooked as it did.
RATING: 3.5/5
#24. Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3
The final chapter in perhaps the most consistently entertaining series inside the MCU, James Gunn‘s Marvel swan song comes complete with somewhat satisfying character conclusions and heavy emotional moments that are sure to resonate with longtime fans. The film packs the style and energy lacking from most modern MCU films, being one of the few to not look total garbage in the VFX department. An deviously diabolical villain gives the film ample stakes, while the plot itself mostly manages to balance its funnier moments alongside those of the tearjerking variety. While maybe not the most consistent of the three, it’s still a hell of a final chapter, and potentially a good example of what’s to come with Gunn leading the charge for DC.
RATING: 3.5/5
#23. Asteroid City
The universe is a big scary place full of uncertainty. Wes Anderson knows this and is here to tell you that even if none of it makes sense, it’s still worth experiencing. Asteroid City may be the director’s most “out-there” film yet, structuring a plot about aliens and family in so many fourth wall breaking layers that it can be hard to decipher what it’s all about. Even still, there are very few filmmakers out there that can make this kind of quirky charm and storybook visuals work, and man do they certainly work here. The cast is enigmatically goofy, while the set-design of a rest stop in the middle of the desert works perfectly not only for its hand crafter charm, but to tie in with the film’s meta-narrative. Even if you can’t understand it, it’s impossible not to feel anything from this ambitious film by one of today’s most stylish storytellers.
RATING: 3.5/5
#22. Evil Dead Rise
I was hesitant when I found out one of my favorite horror franchises was getting another addition to the series, yet I walked away very pleased with what we got. Evil Dead Rise pays homage to the series in the best ways, allowing the film to find its own identity while remaining faithful to the elements we know and love. The cramped, claustrophobic setting allows for new approaches to the horror, while the gruesome gore and violence makes for a bloody good time.
RATING: 3.5/5
#21. John Wick Chapter 4
The (alleged) finale to one of the best modern action film series’ goes out with a bang in this balls to the wall barrage of tight, precise and insane action filmmaking. Each set piece get’s wilder than the last, stuffed to the brim with impressive choreography and a satisfying amount of creativety in how each setup is approached. The story itself gets some decent progression and closure, keeping the film from becoming too dull in between the several money shots. It’s one of those films that will from here on out be used as a measuring stick for action movies to come, though they have a hell of a staircase ahead of them to climb.
RATING: 3.5/5
#20. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem
An animated film that continues the trend Spiderverse established, which is employing more creative and unique animation styles to better represent the property. The art style has this sketchy, grungy, graffiti-like vibe to it that not only fits the setting of New York, but also the adolescence of the turtles. Which is of course one of the biggest highlights of the film, being the fact the teenagers actually feel like teenagers thanks to the remarkable chemistry between the well-casted stars. It’s funny, the action is superfluid and well-boarded, and the soundtrack matches the aesthetic very well, making for one of the best animated films of the year.
RATING: 3.5/5
#19. How to Blow Up a Pipeline
This was definitely an explosive year for film, and before we talk about that one big explosion you’re probably expecting, I’d like to turn your attention to one on a smaller scale. This film felt almost dangerous to watch at points, just because of how authentic and grounded everything felt. The ensemble of characters are incredibly compelling due to their different backgrounds and beliefs, united by their desire to dismantle a hazardous pipeline for one reason or another. The build up to the big moment is excruciatingly tense; truly a powder keg of real-world science that can go sideways at any moment. A lot of people have compared it to a heist film, and honestly that’s not too far off, except this one has a very compelling message on conservation and activism that I think is super important to the modern day.
RATING: 3.5/5
#18. Infinity Pool
The sophomoric outing from Brandon Cronenberg is a darkly fun spin on the “eat the rich” theme, going down a rabbit hole of unique depravity with an incredibly interesting concept. The performances really sell it, with Alexander Skarsgard being incredibly pathetic and Mia Goth being as unhinged as you might expect. It gets pretty uncomfortable at times but is fully aware of its own absurdity, asking just how far you would go if you knew you wouldn’t have to face consequences. Brandon seems to be doing his daddy proud, and has a great first name to boot.
RATING: 3.5/5
#17. Bottoms
This one really surprised me, not by the fact that it was good and funny, but because of how weird it got. Raunchy teen comedies have kind of run their course, but Bottoms turns the genre on its head by going down a truly absurdist route. The world of the film is pretty fast and loose, filled with turbo-charged high school stereotypes and a somewhat shocking indifference to violence and murder. Rachel Sennot and Ayo Edebiri are still some of the funniest up and comers in Hollywood, while Marshawn Lynch continues to flex his comedy chops by stealing every scene he’s in. This felt like such a breath of fresh air for the genre, and it’s definitely one of the funniest movies to come out this year.
RATING: 3.5/5
#16. The Boy and the Heron
Now, don’t get mad at me for how low this is placed, especially when you see what I put above it. This is certainly a film I’ll be thinking about for a while, and even if it didn’t blow me away upon my first viewing, I still have a ton of respect for it. Miyazaki is a legend in the twilight of his career, who seems to be grappling with leaving the world of film behind for the next generation. His approach to these internal dilemmas is through a dreamlike odyssey that ponders upon many of Miyazaki’s themes like childhood and imagination. Of course the visuals are gorgeous and blows many other animated films out of the water with just that element alone. I’ll be thinking about this one for a while and it just may continue to grow on me in the future.
RATING: 3.5/5
#15. You Hurt My Feelings
This was a little comedy about unfulfilled dreams and the realization you’ve been doing the wrong thing all your life. You know, funny stuff! Truth be told this film just hit home for me a lot more than I was expecting, considering I’m not 50 years old. But I think a lot of the ideas here still ring true no matter what point you’re at in your life, like the little lies we tell at what we think is the benefit of the ones we love. It’s not afraid to get into those little, seldom spoken about agreements in relationships, and while it’s not exactly super powerful or moving, I still think its a good time. The cast is hilarious and earnest, and overall I think this could be a great date movie that may or may not start fights.
RATING: 4/5
#14. Nimona
Nimona is an animated feature that was originally produced by Blue Sky Studios, but upon the company’s acquisition by Disney in 2020, the project was delayed for months before eventually being canceled. Thankfully Annapurna Pictures swooped in to revive the film, eventually releasing it on Netflix this year. And after the kind of year Disney has had, this was a hell of a middle finger to give the mouse. It’s a sci-fantasy film following the companionship between the titular shapeshifter and a disgraced knight, and I was a little surprised by how much this film hit me, but in hindsight it wasn’t too difficult to see why. The setting of a futuristic city blended with medieval aesthetics like knights and castles felt refreshingly unique to American animation and was a ton of fun to explore. The animation also leaned to its own style, and even though it did look a little flat at times, it still managed to be super expressive. The story and dynamic between the two main characters manages to be both genuinely funny and actually pretty emotional, tying in a lot of themes like identity and being true to who you are rather than how others see you. No joke, I actually got a little emotional at the end, which is something Disney hasn’t really managed to do to me in quite a while.
RATING: 4/5
#13. The Killer
If you frequent film Twitter, you may have seen that this film seemed to divide people as much as Fincher’s last film Mank. It really seemed like you either liked it or hated it, and I gotta say I really liked it. The no-named hitman played by Michael Fassbender may seem surface level and one-note…and okay he actually is. But Fincher uses a character like this to poke fun at that alpha-grindset culture that has spawned in the past few decades, no thanks in part to interpretations of Fincher’s own work. I mean the first 20 minutes is the killer hyping up how precise and methodical he is only for him to completely botch his job; hilarious. The camera work and framing is as pristine as you’d expect from a Fincher film, yet the film isn’t afraid to get down and dirty when it calls for it. It’s far more meditative than you may think at first, and I absolutely think it deserves an open mind going in.
RATING: 4/5
#12. When Evil Lurks
This is probably up there as the most F-ed up film I’ve seen this year, with an unflinching refusal to let the horrors it presents to you be glossed over and played out offscreen. There are some genuinely shocking, unnerving scenes that not only made me jump, but also garnered an insane amount of respect and intrigue from me as I wondered how in the hell they pulled some of these off. The film also has a unique approach to world building, essentially dropping you into a setting of paranormal horrors while asking you to just roll with it without explaining too much. It truthfully gives the story a sense of realism to it, almost like this is happening somewhere off in the world. I do think this leads to the film leaving a bit too many questions left unanswered, but even still this was a refreshing swing on a possession story that actually managed to be terrifying.
RATING: 4/5
#11. Barbie
One half of the movie theather phenomenon of 2023. This was such a fun time and such a shock too, as Greta Gerwig was able to take what could have been a thoughtless cash-grab meant to sell more products and turned it into a thoughtful, silly and hilarious film that not only reflects on the doll’s impact on the world, but also heavier topics like gender norms and the elements of life that create patriarchal systems that can be harmful to everyone involved. It manages to be both a goofy, violently pink comedy while also finding room to be poignant and mature, captained by two terrific performances from Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling. From top to bottom this was far better than it had any right to be, earning the title of highest grossing movie of the year, and a well deserved spot on this list.
RATING: 4/5
#10. May December
Yet another target of much film Twitter discourse over whether or not the film is funny or not. Sure, the film deals with very delicate themes like predatory behavior and the robbing of agency, but that doesn’t mean its tone can’t match the lunacy of the characters and their beliefs. This can be a very uncomfortable watch, as the film dances between a delicate gray area where it asks you not only to be critical of these characters, but understand them for what they are. How their minds work, how they got here, and how they affect others around them. It asks you to view these circumstances through a lens not dominated by black and white, good and evil conjecture, because honestly that kind of view gets us nowhere when trying to understand why things like this happen. Technically the film is simplistic, but every bit of simplicity comes with intention. Natalie Portman and Julianne Moore war with each other through probing questions and passive-agressive answers, while Charles Melton surprises with an incredibly layered, subtle performance that brilliantly captures the thought process and mannerisms of a 30 year old man who essentially lost the opportunity to be a kid. Its soapy nature might feel off-putting for a film of this subject matter, but like I said I think it pairs really well to accentuate some of the ridiculous people featured in the film. Top to bottom this film is so impressive, and with it being on Netflix, it’s incredibly easy to access if you’re looking to squirm in your seat.
RATING: 4/5
#9. Dream Scenario
Speaking of uncomfortable films, this was one of those films I actually had to turn away from at times because of second hand embarrassment. This is some cringe-comedy at its finest while also having a little something to say about fame and being the latest vehicle for Nicholas Cage to be a little freaking weirdo. The premise of having the same guy appearing in everyone’s dreams sounds straight out of an old creepypasta, but what director Kristoffer Borgli does with the premise is truly unique and echoes current times. The film uses this setup to reflect viral internet fame and how it can happen to anyone, sometimes for seemingly no reason at all. But on the flipside, it also tackles how not everyone is built for the limelight and how quick public perception can change on someone when they’ve been put on too high of a pedestal. Nicholas Cage juggles a lot of emotions here as the nobody professor that soon becomes an overnight sensation and eventually the most hated man in the world. It’s gotta be one of the most pathetic characters I’ve seen him play, and he does a phenomenal job at making you feel sorry for him, embarrassed for him, yet also aggravated by him as well. I also think this film has some of the most effective editing and camera work this year, often employing erratic cuts and handheld shots that don’t exactly call for it to really crank up the uncomfortable nature of each scene. There’s even an effective juggling of multiple genres. Sometimes it’s a dark comedy, sometimes it’s a horror film, sometimes it’s a family drama. Yet everything works so well, crafting a hard to watch satire that should make everyone rethink their parasocial relationships with people we see on tv or the internet that we have no actual relationship with. This is probably Cage’s best performance since Pig, except this one has a scene where he farts, creams his pants, and then farts again.
#8. Talk to Me
Even in a year that felt like it had more misses than hits when it comes to horror, I still managed to be pleasantly surprised by a few entries, like the aforementioned Evil Dead Rise and When Evil Lurks. However, if I had to pick my favorite of the genre this year, that would have to go to the refreshingly Aussie take on the possession genre that is Talk to Me. Made by two YouTuber brothers, Talk to Me managed to take the mostly worn out genre of ghostly possession and turn it into a clever analogy to teen peer pressure and drug use. In the film, an embalmed hand that lets you talk to the dead is the misused monkey’s paw that drives our main character Mia to descend a nightmarish rabbit hole. The hand means different things to different characters. For some it’s a party trick, a social engagement, and an addictive rush you can’t find anywhere else. But for Mia, who recently lost her mom, it’s a coping mechanism first pressured onto her that eventually consumes her because of her inability to address and tackle her grief head on. This is such a cool metaphor that connects the addictive personalities of today’s youth as well as their curiosity and obsession with the macabre. What makes the horror of the film so effective is how genuine all of the characters feel, playing true to form for their generation. Their actions and motivations are often frustrating, but not unlike the irrationality that comes with being a teen. Sophie Wilde absolutely dominates the film as Mia, while the supporting performances are no slackers themselves. Directors Danny and Michael have put a lot of attention into the technicals as well, with playfully haunting camera work and some of the most disgusting sound design I’ve heard this year. Talk to Me is a perfect example of not exactly re-inventing the wheel, but showing you a different way the wheel can be utilized. It’s dark, funny, and at its core, poignant, capped off by an absolutely chilling ending. There’s already a sequel greenlit by A24, and I can’t wait to see what comes from the crazy Ronald McDonald brothers next.
RATING: 4/5
#7. Godzilla Minus One
This has to be the film that surprised me the most this year. Truth be told, I’ve been a fan of this series since I was a child, but I honestly believe the IP has hit its peak with this latest film. The story of Godzilla has been told to us for decades now; atomic testing leads to the birth of a giant monster that goes on to destroy Japan. It’s common knowledge at this point that Godzilla is an obvious reflection of the effects of the atomic bomb, as well as the atomic war hysteria that arose post World War 2. Yet I don’t think this metaphor has ever been as effective as it is in Minus One, which touts one of the best and most human stories the franchise has ever seen. The human characters, which are typically an afterthought in these films, are a highly engaging ensemble of civilians pulling together as a community to take on this gargantuan challenge. It does what not many Godzilla films do; giving its human cast the agency to tackle this problem through comradery and ingenuity, not unlike real life moments of widespread devastation. And Godzilla is absolutely devastation incarnate, maintaining his iconic force of nature aura by leveling cities with animalistic intensity and an atomic breath that has never felt more powerful. You feel every bit of it thanks to an impressive sense of scale and an on the ground eye to look through during the rampage. With a price tag of somewhere around $15 million, it just makes everything all the more impressive. The kaiju genre can often be tossed aside as a simple, dumb fun piece of media that’s only good for city destruction and rubber monster suits. Yet Godzilla Minus One challenges and overwrites that notion, fulfilling the expectations that come with the monster’s legacy, as well as heightening those same expectations to elevate this film beyond the others in its genre, making this, in my opinion, the best Godzilla film ever made.
RATING: 4/5
#6. Oppenheimer
It just so happens there was another film that came out this year that runs parallel to a lot of what Godzilla tackles, but in a much different, potentially less abstract kind of way. Yet this doesn’t make it any less engaging and enthralling, being one of this director’s most unique films and potentially one of his best. The story of the man behind the weapon that would change the world forever, Oppenheimer is Christopher Nolan’s latest foray into historical biopic territory that never lets you forget its a Christopher Nolan joint. His trademark scale and scope are present, yet Nolan trades in the big, sweeping set pieces for tight, claustrophobic rooms of men in suits talking. It’s a film about a bomb, yes, but the majority of the film is just talking, but Nolan finds a way to make each line and each interaction just as wired and explosive. He makes the bold decision to place the focus around those responsible for one of the most devastating acts of war ever rather than those who actually suffered at the hand of it, and while that might not seem like an important story worth telling, it does offer context on how we came to this moment and how the future is forever changed because of it. Robert J. Oppenheimer is a figure you’ll struggle to like but also hesitant to outright hate. He’s a man with all the brilliance in the world yet lacks the mental fortitude to come to grips with what he’s doing until it’s far too late. Cillian Murphy gives a career best turn as the titular character, embodying a difficult to pin down protagonist whose principals are as complex as they are ambiguous. But Murphy isn’t the only standout, as the film features an ensemble cast of everyone in Hollywood who wasn’t already in Barbie, including one of the most refreshing roles Robert Downey Jr. has had in quite a while. The on-paper simplicity of the story is counteracted by striking cinematography, impressive dustings of practical effects, and a split-use of black and white and full color to play with historical interpretation. Even with a towering runtime, the film manages to remain engaging nearly throughout, jumping between time periods and perspectives to give us a triumph from Christopher Nolan and one of the best films of the year.
RATING: 4/5
#5. Beau is Afraid
It’s time to get weird, and there was no weirder, stranger, more batshit film than Ari Aster’s latest headtrip. Pivoting from straightforward horror to an absurdist, black comedy odyssey about a guy with mommy issues and big balls might feel like quite a swing, and it absolutely is. And while I don’t think it’s a complete knock out of the park, the audaciousness of it all has earned my respect. Aster has taken his ability to craft tense, anxiety inducing cinema and cranked that sumbitch up to 11, all while crafting a world so off kilter and so bizarre that at times you don’t know if you should be laughing or screaming. Joaquin Phoenix portrays the titular man who is afraid, taking the character on a journey of trauma, overthinking, abuse and revelation that is so weird that words can hardly do it justice. Visually, this is Ari’s most ambitious film to date, crafting an ever changing world that can go from absolutely beautiful to nightmarish hellscape when the story calls for it. The offbeat humor and the nutty cast of characters takes us down a winding road paved with manifestations of anxiety due to years and years of emotional manipulation and abuse that honestly feels bad to say is very very funny. There’s just very few films like this getting made at this level, and Aster took a hell of a chance with something like this and I gotta pay him respect. This film also earns the coveted award of Best Film You Should Absolutely Not Show Your Parents. Unless they wanna get really cool with some weird shit really quick.
RATING: 4/5
#4. Past Lives
This debut feature from Celine Song is one of the sweetest, if not the most heart aching, film of the year. It’s all about what if’s and whether or not we would entertain those what if’s given the chance. This particular what if happens to be a childhood sweetheart re-entering your life years after you both already have established lives. It’s a complicated dilemma, one that’s tackled with tender honesty and a deeply human approach. The film even traverses the feelings from across the aisle; the trust you have in your partner and the insecurities that make you question the former. It’s proof of the complicated nature of love, how we define it, and if it can ever truly go away. The film does and says so much without huge emotional swings or grand outbursts of passion. The lead cast of Greta Lee, Teo Yoo, and John Magaro carry the film through its meditation with grounded, realistic honesty that makes the inevitable conclusion all the more heart wrenching even though it’s the right call for all parties involved. There’s not too much more to say except I loved this film, and you may just love it too. Just make sure you come to terms with all those lost loves first. Or don’t. Might make the viewing a bit more interesting honestly.
RATING: 4/5
#3. Spider-Man: Across the Spiderverse
It was always going to be hard to outdo perfection, and for me, this film’s prior movie was perfection. But this does come pretty darn close, expanding upon what the original film brought in terms of scope and visual splendor. The first Spider-verse film was a monumental achievement for the medium of animation and a breath of fresh air to one of the most beloved superheroes of all time. Across the Spider-verse continues to expand upon the story of Miles Morales, a newer Spider-Man struggling to live up to the expectations that comes with the title. This takes him on a multiversal journey that introduces him to a wide array of Spider variations and their respective worlds, many of which come with their own unique animation style that continues to challenge conventional norms and embraces the comic book aesthetic. Miles’ journey breaks free from the confines of the origin story that did afflict the original film a bit while also never feeling restricted by the now overused multiverse schtick. And at the end of the day, this film is just a ton of fun, due in part to its ever-expanding web of characters, brilliantly animated action sequences, and an enthralling story that manages to be emotional and connective to what made Spider-Man an icon in the first place. Superhero fatigue has certainly been afflicting me for a few years now, but more films like this could definitely be the cure.
RATING: 4.5/5
#2. Killers of the Flower Moon
Martin Scorcese may just have a bright future ahead of him if he keeps delivering incredible films like this. Marty is certainly not new to this brand of rodeo, yet this certainly feels incredibly introspective to the genre his work often populates. It’s an examination of evil, greed and complacency that can be spawned through ignorance and apathy, focusing on a very real and very abhorrent crime. The film is a technical marvel and, at 3 hours long, should not flow as well as it does. Yet it’s hard to look away when you have magnetic performances from Leonardo DiCaprio, Lily Gladstone and Robert Deniro that manage to make you laugh, make you cry, and absolutely piss you off. Having DiCaprio’s incompetent and morally vacant Ernest as the protagonist may seem like a disservice to the people who actually suffered from this tragedy, but Scorsese masterfully utilizes the perpetrator as a window into how terrible things aren’t always born out of simple evil, but stupid complacency and spineless ethics. Truthfully the film holds up many different mirrors to reckon with, including our digestion of true crime which can dehumanize and de-legitimize actual victims, and Scorcese himself, whose work has potentially sparked those flames even if it were unintentionally. On a more fundamental level, these 3 hours manage to fly by thanks in part to an ever-engaging script, intelligent editing and too many standout performances to count. For me, this is a near perfect film and potentially one of Scorcese’s most important films of the last few years whether or not you agree with his approach to portraying this tragedy. It’s a masterclass from one of the greatest directors of all time, and is easily one of the best movies of 2023.
RATING: 4.5/5
#1. The Holdovers
Lists like this are pretty arbitrary. How do rank 70 plus films of differing approaches and genres against one another, and how do you know you’ve made the right choice? Well I really don’t, and honestly these rankings could shift in a year, month or hell, even when I push “Publish” (which would absolutely suck). But for now, I want to give my number 1 seat to a simple, grounded, human film that I couldn’t stop thinking about since I saw it. Out of all the films I saw this year, this one just seemed to scream “movie” at me. There’s something so particular, so intentional in its style, production and writing that just made me feel something I only feel once in a blue moon. Everything here just comes together in an insanely enjoyable and impactful way. The performances are stellar, with Paul Giamatti’s crotchety professor Paul Hunham, Da’Vine Joy Randolph’s quietly aching Mary Lamb, and complete and total newcomer Dominic Sessa just absolutely knocking it out of the park as troubled youth Angus Tully. The script is hands down my favorite of 2023, packing an emotional and literary intelligence that never talks down to you or asks too much of you. It’s consistently hilarious, capturing a rhythm of comedy that feels like it’s gone and left us decades ago, while at the same time bottling emotional moments straight out of melodrama that just absolutely hit me. The presentation of the film is simple yet effective, adopting a classic film look that works for both the setting as well as the entire aura emanating from the incredible script. It’s one of those movies I honestly think you could show anyone from any type of generation or genre appeal and they’ll manage to find something they like from it. It’s approachable, but not in a way that feels factory generated or insincere. This is an incredibly sincere film, both to the human experience and to the realm of film. It made me laugh, it made me tear up, it made me want to start studying Ancient Greece. All in all, top to bottom, this is just a fantastic film I’ve already revisited a few times, will definitely be recommended to everyone I know, and is my favorite film of 2023.
RATING: 5/5
What was you favorite film of 2023? Let me know in the comments below!
The Martini Shot 