You know what my favorite thing about the state of movies is? It’s when a studio takes a classic comedy film, gives it a sequel, and makes the trailer super serious with epic music or a somber cover of classic song.

That’s where we’re at now with Ghostbusters. What was once a glorified extended SNL skit that worked because everyone involved was genuinely hilarious is now being treated like it’s this legendary action adventure franchise like Indiana Jones. To me, Ghostbusters is about an off-beat collection of characters, an every-man spin on real-life heroics, and Dan Aykrord getting mad dome from a ghost. Despite multiple efforts over the past few decades, no ensuing project has ever come close to capturing that lightning in a ghost trap. Whether it be its own direct sequel, an all female reboot, or an apparent love letter directed by the son of the original director, nothing has come anywhere close for me in replicating that magic.

Ghostbusters: Afterlife was a fine enough attempt in my eyes. Was it hobbling on two crutches made out of product placement and nostalgia? Undeniably. Yet, I do respect the approach to changing up the setting and scenery and tying the central narrative around a dysfunctional family in the midst of heavy change and coming of age. It did give me hope we were seeing at least an attempt to steer the franchise in a different direction, and let me tell you I was stagnant with middling anticipation for the follow up. 

And what do you know, it looks like we’ve already given up.

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire is a step back from its predecessor in my eyes. While the scope of the narrative has expanded, originality and cohesiveness has not. Boasting far too many characters to give ample screentime and development to, a narrative that never really excites or capitalizes on its premise, and a cold, dead grip on the past, this is once again another Hollywood repackage that can neither come close to the original or truly justify its own identity. It’s certainly not the worst thing in the world, and I do think some longtime fans will find pleasure in the expanse of the universe and characters, but this truthfully made me feel cold, and not in the way the film was probably hoping.

The Spengler family, descendents of the great Egon Spengler, have moved back into the old Ghostbusters fire station in New York to resume the spirit catching the original team started decades ago. The family and friends eventually come across a strange, ghostly artifact that, when opened, threatens to throw the world into a paranormal ice age. Things are certainly strange in the neighborhood, so who is the world gonna call? That’s right, the Ghostbusters! And the old Ghostbusters. And the Ghostbusters’ friends. And a guy that can control fire. And Slimer. No sign of that blowjob ghost though.

Returning from the first film are Phoebe, Trevor and Callie Spengler, step-dad Gary, Trevor’s summer fling Lucky, goofy social media nerd Podcast, as well as original Ghostbusters Peter, Ray and Winston. On top of that, you also have former Ghostbuster secretary Janine joining the fray along with new characters like Dr. Lars Pinfield, slacker Nadeem, and ghost girl Melody. That’s 12 somewhat pivotal characters whose inclusions range in necessity. Whiz kid Phoebe is once again in the forefront of the story, aiming to live up to her grandfather’s legacy despite the push back she receives because of her age. She essentially gets barred from going on missions, and that conflict with her and her family isn’t super thought-out or all that compelling, despite some attempts at emotional development between her and her new step-dad. She does try to strike out on her own, but kind of just makes everything worse through some decisions that don’t feel super aligned with the character. Like she decides to use a machine that can possibly temporarily turn you into a ghost on herself based on a “theory”. But it seems like she learned about this device only a few days ago, has not had time to truly understand it or tinker with it, and has no real evidence to back it up if it will work. She doesn’t even really have any good reason to actually do this other than the narrative calls for it to set something else up. She also sparks a friendship or possibly a crush on a ghost girl, and that’s probably the only interesting thing she really has going on. Her brother Trevor does practically nothing throughout the whole film, while his relationship with Lucky doesn’t get fleshed out or expanded upon in the slightest. Callie is kind of just there to push back against Phoebe, while Gary is just banking on that Paul Rudd charm to sell weak comedic lines.

Outside of the main cast the film puts a lot of focus on Dan Akryod’s Ray and Kumail Nanjiani’s Nadeem. I’ll give Akroyd credit, he’s probably the only one with a semblance of passion here, and even if his role is more less just to explain the growing ghostly occurrences, you can tell he actually cares about what he’s saying. Hell, he may even believe it. Nadeem is a whole other side story involving an ancient family of firebenders and his attempt to unlock that power within him, which just kind of makes the story less focused. Nanjiani is probably the funniest out of the whole cast, but like I said, his inclusion only muddles the narrative and takes away time from the characters that should probably be getting better treatment. These multiple narrative paths don’t intertwine in a super interesting way, leading to a jumbled climax that essentially involves the ensemble standing in a line together to fight the film’s big bad.

Bringing about the end of days this time is Garaka, a powerful spirit capable of producing extreme cold and ice in an instant. Truthfully he’s a far cry from the androgynous presence of Gozer, feeling more like a scrapped Diablo character . The extent of his abilities feels very loose and malleable depending on who he decides to target, while the build-up to his reveal just doesn’t feel all that different from past films. The promise of that titular Frozen Empire never really comes to fruition until the last 20 minutes of the film. It would have been so cool to see the Ghostbusters fight ghosts in a ice-coated New York, but these little glimpses of what could be don’t effectively make anything about the stakes or setup anymore enthralling. 

For all of it’s issues, Afterlife felt like a decent enough send off for the original cast, despite a CGI Harold Ramis puppet. So I’m not entirely sure why this film still wants to anchor itself so much to the legacy cast. They essentially get in the way and halt any kind of agency for the new characters when it comes to figuring out this new problem. You got Ray, who can explain everything and anything there is to know about the ancient world of the paranormal, and Winston, who is now a billionaire who can provide the characters with any kind of gadget or gizmo they could need. I get both actors really want to be here, but it doesn’t give the newcomers enough moments to come into their own outside of Phoebe to an extent. Bill Murray clearly doesn’t want to be here, seemingly destined to live out his bloodpact to appear in all of these films until the day he dies. The film attempts to play the hits, but in doing so it shows how little faith the filmmakers have in the future stars of this franchise. It’s going beyond simple winks and nods to just throwing their hands up and saying “we’ve got nothing”. There were some potentially intriguing roads the story could have gone down, like Phoebe and Melody. 

This is what I think is the first time we’ve seen a ghost in this film that isn’t some howling monster, but a real person capable of real emotions. It really makes you think how many more ghosts like her are locked in that storage unit down in the firehouse basement. This could have led to an interesting ethical dilemma, where Phoebe pushes back against the old-guard and their methods, but no, let’s just settle for a “monster of the week” story that does little to change the status quo. 

At the end of the day, it’s certainly watchable. It doesn’t ask for much and rewards fans with sprinklings of their childhood through new ghost catching gadgets and returning faces that are mostly putting forth effort to make this work. Despite its heavy use of VFX, it’s not a complete digital eyesore to look at surprisingly enough, even boasting some solid practical effects like the return of the Slimer puppet. But Frozen Empire is still a frozen husk of what once was. It lacks the humor, the ingenuity, the underlying emotional effort that comes when you don’t have a huge, marketable franchise and a millions of dollars safety net to fall back on. The heart and scrappiness of the original is replaced with safe, generic characters, dialogue and narrative beats that don’t feel too out of place inside this latest era of the MCU. It doesn’t feel like anyone is actually trying to tell a story, rather, they’re just trying to meet a corporate mandate. It’s not all terrible, but there’s nothing here that sits with me or makes me want to give it another watch. Bustin’ feels good at times, but by the end you’re sometimes left questioning if this was really worth my time. That’s a life lesson we all need to learn.

Rating

Death Chill

The Death Chill can freeze you with fear until you die, but this Death Chill will if anything give you a bit of brain freeze. Similar to a frozen margarita, this drink packs the sweet fruit flavors of peach and blueberry, pairing along nicely with the bite of tequila. For a fun garnish, I opted to use a nerds rope, as the swirl of colors reminded a lot of the proton beams the Ghostbusters fire. Let’s get bustin’!

Ingredients

• 3oz tequila
• 1.5oz blue curacao
• 1.5oz peach schnapps
• 1.5oz Rose’s blueberry syrup
• 2oz lime juice
• 2 cups ice (crushed preferably)
• Garnish: Nerds rope

Instructions

1. Add all ingredients to a blender.
2. Blend until it reaches a soft consistency, adding more ice if needed.
3. Pour into tall glass.
4. Garnish with nerds rope.