In 2024, I saw over 100 new releases, and if you’re asking yourself “why the f*ck would he try to rank all of those films”, well, I am too. It’s a daunting and honestly kind of arbitrary task, but damn, do I love myself a list. So here is a very loose ranking of every new release I saw in 2024. Most of these are 2024; there are some that are technically 2023 releases, but didn’t see a wide release in America until this year, so I’m gonna go ahead and count those. I’ve also included my top 20 video and my bottom 10 video if you’d like to cut to the chase and see what I thought was the best of the best (and the worst of the worst).
#104. Imaginary
Blumhouse has been peddling some true stinkers for a while now. Occassionally you get one that’s a little fun like M3gan, but more often than not you’re getting unoriginal, unscary, cheaply made nothings designed to make a cheap buck. Imaginary isn’t the only film of its ilk on this list, but it’s definitely the worst of the bunch that I’ve seen. It’s another haunted doll movie from the haunted doll factory that manages to be predictable, lazy, and worst of all, unimaginative. Every character in this is insufferable and a headache to follow, while the scares are your typical “thing comes around the corner really fast” set to loud music. There’s hardly any tension or suspense in the pacing or the editing, coming off as just a worse version of Insidious; a haunted house film that eventually leads to a journey into the ghost dimension thanks to Old Lady Exposition. The set design of Imagination Land or whatever the f*ck it’s called is probably the best part of the film, but it comes too little too late. The only thing this had me imagining was a better movie.
RATING: 1/5
#103. Madame Web
A genuine achievement, and I’m being totally serious. Not often does a studio continue to one-up itself with each following fumble, but Sony isn’t just any old studio. They’re the home of “We own the rights? Then let’s make the movie!”, no matter how miniscule or unimportant the character is. From conception to the credits, this film is a pile of confoundment that truly must be seen to be believed. Next to nothing about this film works; its cast is wooden and misused, the technicals are laughably shoddy, the writing isn’t a first draft, it’s a first thought. It all ends up boiling down to a film that is actually genuinely entertaining at times. I can’t remember the last time a big studio put out something almost so bad it’s good unironically (they thought they had it with Morbius and paid the price upon re-release). Everything from the cringey line deliveries to the poorly conceived motivations to a character having what seems like all of his lines done poorly in post, Madame Web is truly something else. Truthfully, it didn’t fill me with the disdain that some of the other films on this list gave me, and that’s why it doesn’t take the number one spot.
RATING: 1/5
#102. Red One
You know, I usually scoff at people that make a big fuss about the overly commercialized nature of Christmas overtaking the more important emotions of the season, but with a film like this, I can definitely feel where they’re coming from. Straight off the “safe and market tested” assembly line, Red One is shockingly void of anything remotely resembling holiday cheer other than the fact it happens to feature Santa Claus, snowmen and Krampus. Mostly feeling like a vanity project for star Dwayne Johnson, the film features stale action, drab visuals, and phoned in performances, with the only real admirable element being the film’s sparse but appreciated prosthetic work. It doesn’t matter how much glitter and ribbons you put on it; a lump of coal is still a lump of coal.
RATING: 1.5/5
#101. Lift
An utterly sauceless vanity vehicle trying to convince us Kevin Hart can play the cool, suave anti-hero with a heart of gold. It checks all the boxes of your generic heist movies, yet performs with the kind of misplaced sincerety that makes you believe they thought they were making something incredible. Hart is unfortunately unfunny due to the script’s shortcomings as well as the design of the character not being able to lend itself to his strengths as a comedian. It’s cliche as hell, from motion graphics letting us know who THE HACKER of the team is to recycled genre lines like “Are you still mad about that job in *foreign city*. The first five minutes featured an egregious ADR blunder and an NFT heist, which is enough of a warning to just turn it off right then and there.
RATING: 1.5/5
#100. Jackpot!
Has to be the most annoying film I saw this year. The terrible comedy just never stops, never giving you a repreave, waterboarding you with the most bland, unfunny situational comedy. John Cena, the golden goose that he is, can’t even salvage the shit he’s fed with his comedic timing. The fun, Purge-like concept is drowned underneath a toothless use of an R-rating and a directing style that just isn’t up to snuff with the madness it’s trying to capture. This almost became a DNF because of the huge headache it brought on, but I stuck it out for you. Don’t make the same mistake I did.
RATING: 1.5/5
#99. Unfrosted
The movie WOKE HOLLYWOOD doesn’t want you to see! Tongue and cheek and obviously yearning for the days when silly comedies like these were on top, yet this commits the cardinal sin that set’s it a part from other films of its ilk: it’s not funny. Good for one or two laughs but it’s an incredibly phoned in celebrity hangout caught on camera kind of film. Cameos pop in to deliver some of the most underbaked jokes and puns imaginable, with the main cast being just as bad if not worse. Senfield can’t act, we know this, but his inability to even sell the silliness of the film while in character makes it look like he doesn’t even have the heart for this project, AND HE DIRECTED IT! I liked the implication JFK was assassinated by milk men though. A minor bright spot, and I can only wonder how much funnier this could have been if someone who actually managed to evolve their comedy with the times had directed this.
RATING: 1.5/5
#98. Night Swim
Oh boy, another Blumhouse stinker. Night Swim shows droplets of promise with its premise, but unfortunately it can’t muster up enough creativity to turn it into anything worthwhile. The actors are fed embarrassing lines and story beats that severely underutilizes their talents (Kerry Condon, what are you doing here?), while the story itself can’t find ways to scare you outside of the most obvious jump scares that can be found literally everywhere else. This slice of summertime horror’s only saving grace was that it’s relatively short and was made for next to nothing, so it can continue to fuel the content factory that is Blumhouse. I appreciate Blumhouse giving opportunities to first-time directors, but can we start making movies that aren’t just easy cash grabs that require minimal effort? Just skip this one. You’ll find more enjoyment jumping headfirst into the shallow end.
RATING: 1.5/5
#97. This is Me…Now
LOL. LMAO, even. If you want a taste of grade-A celebrity delusion, look no further than this mini-musical from Jennifer Lopez. A fantastical semi-autobiography that details Lopez’s journey to find love again, while also learning to love herself! I’ll give credit where credit is due, a lot of the musical numbers are genuinely visually impressive, despite some laughable choreography at times. It’s the narrative web that combines these moments together that’s the real problem. Though it may try to convince you to be an earnest self reflection, this does nothing to convince me that Lopez’s journey of love and loss has made her change in any kind of meaningful way. How Affleck listened to the pitch of this and agreed to go along with it (only to seemingly break-up later this year) is beyond me. Mercifully it’s barely an hour, and the ridiculousness does provide a good few laughs. It isn’t the only Lopez misstep at the movies this year, but it’s certainly the weakest.
RATING: 1.5/5
#96. Trigger Warning
It isn’t the cringey piece of social commentary a title like that may have you believe, but what it is is an incredibly forgettable action thriller; Netflix’s bread and butter! There are some blips of creativety, mostly in how some of the fight scenes are choreographed, but it doesn’t help that everything built around it is cliche and uninteresting. The pieces are there; a badass veteran returning to her home town and getting caught up in a conspiracy that involves more people than she thinks, and Jessica Alba is showing a side of her I quite enjoy, but could they really not have spared any kind of personality? Not egregious, but unjustifiably a time waster.
RATING: 1.5/5
#95. Rebel Moon – Part 2: The Scargiver
Yet another display of director Zack Snyder’s worst habits; characters lacking true maturity to be taken seriously, dialogue that says little despite a lot being spoken, and hacked-to-bits action sequences that suffer from either poorly designed setups or an atrocious overreliance on slow motion. This “mature” Star Wars riff only earns that title through heightened violence and more depressing character moments, but neither of these carry enough emotional weight to truly matter by the end. Just watch Andor instead.
RATING: 1.5/5
#94. Venom: The Last Dance
As a lifelong fan of the character, I feel I should be more disappointed in Sony’s handling of a Venom trilogy, but truthfully, I’m just numb to it. While the previous two films has their flaws, I wouldn’t exactly call them “boring”. Yet this third installment takes the misguided efforts of the first three films and injects them into a painfully uninteresting plot that does next to nothing to build upon the relationship of our two main characters while trying to pass this off as a sappy send-off. Despite setting itself up to be far more goofy, the film never really capitalizes on the absurdity, instead settling on generic story beats and sequences that don’t come together to form the satisfying send-off you would expect. I would highly advise refraining from a last dance if you barely have any legs to stand on in the first place.
RATING: 1.5/5
#93. Atlas
I’ll give this credit, it’s not the worst thing Jennifer Lopez has found herself in this year, but it certainly isn’t good either. An incredibly generic plot is bolstered to a by-the-numbers human/AI relationship that does the bare minimum in exploring our relationship to technology. The performances aren’t terrible, though their direction certainly falls short, which can also be said about the film’s lackluster world building and lead threat. It screams “Netflix original” until it’s blue in the face, and by the time I was done with Atlus, all I could do was shrug.
RATING: 2/5
#92. Argylle
The “twisted” mind of Matthew Vaughn may need to be examined by professionals, because his gaudy action films are starting to get out of hand. While the story is admittedly interesting, the execution fell flat for me because of its visual style and its writing. The film really tries to convince you that you’re watching something fun and exciting, but like many of its sequences and settings, it feels very artificial. For all its silliness and bright colors, I found it to be lacking even the smallest, most passable amount of depth and humor needed to get me to invest myself in this. Over-gorging itself on visual flair to the point of sickness and regulating it’s talented cast to half-baked comedy, the only mystery here is how it all came to be such a mess.
RATING: 2/5
#91. Sweet Dreams
While the intentions may have been sincere, this blend of non-actors and therapy-speak just didn’t hit for me on an emotional or comedic level. I won’t fault Knoxville for trying something more dramatic, but it ended up feeling woefully impersonal despite it’s heavier themes of addiction and recovery. It just can’t figure out a way to tell you it’s themes and emotions without directly beating you over the head with them. Character personalities are inconsistent, and while their comradery is occasionally enjoyable, the dialogue ranges from hit or miss riffs to flatly delivered exposition to insincere, textbook regurgitations on the struggles of recovery. Knoxville doesn’t get hit in the dick once, and I’m surprised that’s what I’m missing.
RATING: 2/5
#90. The Beekeeper
John Wick with bees. Sounds just dumb enough to be enjoyable, but that isn’t really the case here. It’s good for the usual Statham beat-em-up, but there’s not really much more to it’s identity or style. It really just feel regurgitative of other films of its ilk, failing to bring anything all the unique to the table. The action and presentation is just servicable, but there’s a severe amount of lulls inbetween scenes trying to expand the film’s world and the lore of the titular keeper of bees. A decent but forgettable time, and don’t worry, he never says anything like “You’ve just been pollonated”. But now I almost kind of want that movie?
RATING: 2/5
#89. The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare
This felt like yet another retread for Ritchie, and while it’s slightly more interesting than last year’s Operation Fortune, it left me with about the same feeling. Ritchie really seems to dig these big team-up movies, yet hasn’t seemed to completely crack the code on how to structure them in unique ways. It’s a shame, because the charasmatic cast are having a delightful time mowing down Germans with their silly little accents. Yet, the characters they inhabit aren’t all that memorable and posses the depth of a puddle of water. The action can tide you over at times, but I found it disappointingly sparse, which wouldn’t be much of an issue if the surrounding story managed to at least be enticing. Buried inside here is an attractive story of espionage, power dynamics, and being too cool for costume parties, but it’s thrown to the wayside in favor of more “we’re essembling a team” nonsense.
RATING: 2/5
#88. Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire
This managed to be a halfway enjoyable time that unfortunately never really convinced me on the grounds of its existence. Lacking in the humor and scrappiness of the original films while also missing the somewhat endearing heart of its predecessor, Frozen Empire ends up doing its best MCU impression, with flat characters, lame dialogue, and an ice cold grip on the past it’s too afraid to move on from. The film never really nails that juggle of old and new characters, as previous characters from the prior film are put in the backseat while legacy characters with nothing more to build upon trudge along for one last hoorah. It’s not a complete visual eyesore at the least, but it’s apparently clear the intention here was to build up a franchise rather than deliver a memorable story.
RATING: 2/5
#87. V/H/S/Beyond
The V/H/S franchise has always been a mixed bag, but I think most fans will tell you the same. This latest batch of shorts, this time focusing around sci-fi horror, is unfortunately more misses than hits. I hate to be a stickler, but some of these shorts just do not work well with the “found footage” structure, leading to shoehorned reasons for cameras to be rolling and leaps in logic to make sure you catch everything on camera. Yet, there are some winners, like Justin Long‘s “Furbabies” and Kate Siegel’s “Stowaway” that exist on very different spectrums yet make great use of the time and premise. Everything else can feel quite cheap and rough, even for a series that has thrived with low budgets. It’s good for a few moments of fun, but the series has better offerings elsewhere.
RATING: 2/5
#86. The Duel
This felt like something me and my friends would have made in college given a few thousand dollars, and I don’t really mean that in a good way. A half decent premise is overstuffed with the kind of faux-Coen Brothers/Tarantino “life is so deep, bro” dialogue that every film kid thinks is the most insightful and creative thing they’ve ever heard. My writing was like that at one point too so I can say that. It attempts to give the film the impression that it’s grander or more thought provoking than it actually is, but at the end of the day it’s more cringeworthy than anything. This also dampens the performances, who spout the kind of trite monologues and deliveries that have been repeated in every theater class across the country. It looks competent in its editing and lighting, but it did little to hook me outside of those elements.
RATING: 2/5
#85. Damsel
The middle chunk of this film is actually pretty solid; a fantasy survival film that actually felt fairly brutal at time for a PG-13 film. Millie does a pretty decent job selling the struggles, and some of the set design is actually pretty nice to look at. When the film shows of its more sweeping and large locations is when the film begins to look noticeably cheap, with a lot of these areas feeling too much like a soundstage due to uneven lighting and no real sense of presence. It just so happens that the film’s weakest narrative points also happen to take place in these locations as well. The beginning and end are fairly predictable teen fantasy but I do think there’s something worth seeing in between it all.
RATING: 2.5/5
#84. Spaceman
Project Hail Mary if it was more or less a snorefest. There’s some interesting visuals and introspection on the human desire for interaction, but it’s all presented through snails pace story and a sleepwalking Adam Sandler. I get why his character would be like this, given his isolation and relationship with his wife, but he’s not interesting or challenged enough to make me care about his journey to black holes and whatnot. It’s fine, but definitely not worth a rewatch. The Project Hail Mary movie can’t come soon enough.
RATING: 2.5/5
#83. Bob Marley: One Love
Exactly what you expect it to be; an unchallenging, straightforward look at a music icon and his journey through the world. The lead performance luckily doesn’t come off as a parody, and it was nice that the film didn’t try to de-Jamaicanize the people and the culture to be more approachable for Western audiences. Of course the music is fun, but you still get those scenes where Bob comes up with the most iconic string of words ever conceived either on the fly or right after he sees his inspiration. A passable and easy watch to give you more insight on the icon, just maybe not as much on the man behind it.
RATING: 2.5/
#82. I.S.S.
If Mark Wahlberg was there, things would have gone down a lot differently (no survivors).
A mostly successful paranoia thriller set in space that tests are alliances to man and nation, yet it kind of just meanders about while riding off of just enough tension to not put you to sleep. The visuals at least look great and the performances are all pretty solid, but this is still one of the most January-ass January releases. Not great, but not terrible.
RATING: 2.5/5
#81. Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F
A perfectly servicable legacy sequel that knows exactly what it is and doesn’t try to detour out of that area in the slightest. Murphy is of course the best part, even if it’s painfully obvious his heart isn’t as in this as before. The action is fine, but the comedy is missing that edge and fluidity that you just don’t find in movies much anymore. But this film took the oppurtunity to dunk of Jupiter Ascending, so it’s okay in my book.
RATING: 2.5
#80. The American Society of Magical Negroes
Despite a pretty significant satirical goal, this film ended up feeling all over the place in what it wanted its message to be. Sociatal issues like race definitiley require depth and an unflinching earnestness to look deeper into yourself and others, but this film doesn’t break much ground outside the surface. Think Sorry to Bother You if it was less edgy, less absurd, and less stylish. It offers caricatures but lacks the teeth to really sink into to sociopolitical issues the film wants to joke about. Luckily I found it to be mostly funny and I’ll watch anything with Justice Smith, but something like this deserves a lot more poignancy than what it got.
RATING: 2.5/5
#79. Rooster
The Lighthouse if it was set in the Australian bush, and I wish that it was as interesting as that sounds. It’s insanely dreary with all the calling cards of a “men being depressed men” art house flick; possibly dead wife/daughter that you only see in naked dream sequences, drinking your problems away, and getting naked with the homies. For all its symbolism and reflections I didn’t really find it to say anything all that worthwhile, though the offbeat relationship between the two leads does lead to some occassional endearment and laughs, largely due in part to Hugo Weaving’s performance. Not pointless, but not exactly thought provoking either.
RATING: 2.5/5
#78. In a Violent Nature
With all the elevated horror movies floating around out there nowadays, the slasher genre was probably overdue for an “elevation”. Following a film like that through the eyes of a silent, masked killer does sound interesting, until you realize that a lot of his time is just spent walking through the woods. I just didn’t really think this opened the door for any new introspection on this kind of character or genre. These characters are usually blank slates that are just the to represent a looming fear that may be representation of a deeper issue or emotion. Putting all the focus on the killer removes some of that mystique and doesn’t really serve a greater purpose in my eyes. Yet, the kills are aptly brutal, and I actually really liked the ending of this. It’s not what you might expect, but I love the implication of what it presents, it’s just too bad implication is completely thrown out the window for the majority of the film.
RATING: 2.5/5
#77. Cuckoo
This felt like an instance where the intelligence(?) of the script got lost in production. There’s certainly something under the surface that could give this film meaning, but it never materializes. There are solid moments of paranoia and anxiety, but it builds towards nothing of note other than a rapid fire of ideas that don’t add up to much. Schaffer does a solid job despite weak characterization, which is a shame considering the film did so much to make me root against her throughout. It left me with questions I know a 2nd viewing wouldn’t give me, and I can’t really be damned to do a deep dive into what was intended. While I can’t say I hated it, this severely disappointed me.
RATING: 2.5/5
#76. Emilia Perez
This film has been getting a ton of award buzz, and after watching it, I can only real assume that’s because of its face rather than its contents. A musical about a Mexican cartel kingpin finding a new life as a trans woman? It’s certainly an attention grabber, but once it reeled me in, it did little to keep me there. For a musical, I didn’t find nearly any of the numbers to be entertaining or all that memorable, while smaller moments of brief singing felt as though they were thrown in because on the day they remembered they were making a musical. With a narrative focusing around a trans woman, I thought it did very little to explore the actual trans experience at a time where it’s potentiall never been more important. Zoe Saldana, Karla Sofia Gascon and Selena Gomez all do admirable jobs with what they’re given, but I thought some of the characterizations fell a little flat. Saldana‘s character hardly has any kind of arc, yet she’s more or less treated as the main character (not the title character). Her inclusion could have been removed or lessened to put the real focus on Emilia, giving more room for exploration into its out-there premise. That being said, it does look pretty great visually and performances are all solid across the board, so I can’t say I hated this, but the critical response to this has really made me question a base I usually find myself agreeing with.
RATING: 2.5/5
#75. Badland Hunters
A fairly servicable post-apocolyptic film that has some interesting ideas under its belt, though the exectution is more or less par for the course. I thought the world building was pretty interesting and I appreciated the spin it put on tried elements like zombies. And of course, Ma Dong-seok. Do you really need more than that? Well, I would have liked it to be a bit more refined and consistent, but this is still a decent watch regardless.
RATING: 2.5/5
#74. Miller’s Girl
It constantly teeters between biting commentary and straight up fanfiction. The setup of a teenager trying to seduce her teenager is definitely a controversial one, but I wish it did something edgier yet insightful rather than a pretty surface level and hollow take on this familiar setup. Power dynamics weren’t as toyed with as I was hoping, but the lead performances and most of the script did make this fairly watchable.
RATING: 2.5/5
#73. Parallel
A pretty simple but interesting low-budget sci-fi premise, with pretty okay performances despite a fairly weak script that doesn’t take full advantage of the idea or really ties it into the themes it presents. This also leads to a pretty flat ending that kind of felt like a cop out. For what it’s worth, it’s shot shot pretty nicely, but overall, it doesn’t feel like it reaches its full potential.
RATING: 2.5/5
#72. Ricky Stanicky
Simple, juvenile, and incredibly predictable in both its narrative and comedy. But…why did I laugh so much? John Cena is the show stealer in his failing upward titular role, while everyone else around him is kind of just fine. The story can be pretty fun at times if not a bit repetitive. It’s certainly better than expected, but I doubt I’ll ever go out of my way to watch it again.
RATING: 2.5/5
#71. Mean Girls
A film that was so afraid to market itself as a musical, and I kinda see why. The jump from stage to screen was not incredibly seamless, with a lot of the songs falling flat. Also, these girls weren’t even all that mean? It really felt like the edge of the original was sanded off, but don’t they know that being a huge asshole is just as contemporary as ever? The film’s story and songs do pick up more in the latter half of the movie, with Renee Rapp and Avantika being the standouts for me. Nothing beats the original though, and unless you were a fan of the stage musical, I don’t see a ton of reasons to check this out.
RATING: 2.5/5
#70. Joker: Folie a Deux
It was a pretty ballsy move to follow up you Rated-R, Oscar winning smash hit with a film that pretty much shatters what a ton of people liked about it in the first place. Honestly, I respect the film for it, but my respect only goes so far. While Phoenix and Gaga are great together, the drab, shackled musical that surrounds them does not contain the same kinetic energy of the first. There are bold decisions here I do appreciate, but rarely did it ever compell me in a way that even its simplistic predecessor managed to do at times.
RATING: 2.5/5
#69. Godzilla X Kong: The New Empire
I feel like a broken record, but this is yet another film that allows it’s boring, uninteresting human characters way down the narrative. There was potential here to allow the monsters to tell the story through purely physical performances, but they were unable to follow through. Still, when ‘Zilla and Kong are in action, it still remains quite fun, even introducing some unique dynamics involving new characters and new weapons. It’s a formula that kind of works, but probably not for much longer, as I don’t think a film like this can be regurgitated again going forward.
RATING: 2.5/5
#68. Land of Bad
More like “Land of Not Bad!” This very generic military flick does have some bright spots, with its action being fairly brutal and the performances being pretty alright. I do think its tone can be all over the place, paticularly in a later scene where Russel Crowe is shopping for artisinal cheeses while his soldiers are about to be killed. It does its job well, and not much more beyond that, which is fine for an easy afternoon watch.
RATING: 2.5/5
#67. Maxxxine
Despite their acknowledgable flaws, I did enjoy X and Pearl, the first two films in Ti West’s decades spanning horror trilogy. But man, this third and final installment really felt like a step down. Other than its admirable neon glow and sparse but effective gore, the film feels cobbled together while failing to build upon the character of Maxxxine in a satisfying way, despite a haphazard climax that messily wraps everything up.
RATING: 2.5/5
#66. Self Reliance
As an avid New Girl enjoyer, I’ll watch pretty much anything with Jake Johnson. The man has been dipping his toes in the realm of acting and directing, and while he hasn’t really knocked it out of the park as of late, he is starting to find his footing. This was fun and goofy, despite not really capturing a truly engaging style of comedy and visual style. This felt very reminiscent of Johnson’s prior film, Ride the Eagle, to a point where it felt like retread ground. A habitual fumbler is thrown into an abnormal circumstance in order to achieve some type of “prize” while, in reality, he’s meant to come to terms with his life decisions in the process. While the idea this time is a bit more outlandish, it doesn’t really tie into the film’s deeper intentions the way Ride the Eagle did. Here, the “romance” if you can call it that feels pretty forced, while the lead character himself has a lot of baggage yet still feels underdeveloped; never really making it clear what he wants on a deeper level. Still, the performances at least keep this watchable (love ya Biff), and some of the bits like the ninja PAs and the Ellen assassin are pretty hilarious. It’s clear there are certain themes of self-realization and regret that Johnson feels strongly drawn to, I just hope he can find ways to utilize those ideas towards something more worthwhile in the future. The director/star direction may be a bit too daunting for him at the moment.
RATING: 2.5/5
#65. Smile 2
Despite feeling very similar to its predecessor, I enjoyed this lot more than the former. The struggles of the tortured pop star are far more engaging, due in part to an all-in performance from Scott. The scares aren’t always the most well structured, but the bulk of the film still maintains tight editing and admirable pacing, even if I think it goes on a bit long. At the end of the day I think it’s a super simple but effective melding of different horror tastes that I think will be genuine crowd pleaser for most. If this franchise is to keep going forward though, it needs a complete makeover of its premise and structure, because I really don’t see how this exact story can work a third time without me getting bored.
RATING: 2.5/5
#64. Arthur the King
Exactly what you think it’s going to be, and sometimes that’s not the worst thing. Sure, it’s a bit emotionally manipulative, but I can look the other way for a good dog performance. It plays out very predictively and it doesn’t exactly get deeper into the subject’s character, but there is a few moments of genuine heart and jungle filmmaking. What can I say? Wahlberg made a decent dog movie.
RATING: 2.5/5
#63. Smile 2
Though very familiar to the first, the new focal point of a tragic popstar in the middle of a psychotic break is much more engaging and leads to some much more interesting scenarios. Naomi Scott kills it as both a horror girl and musical sensation, while the film continues its trend of sparse but welcome practical effects. The scares are pretty cheap and not very imaginative most of the time, but it’s sure to startle regardless.
RATING: 2.5
#62. Kung Fu Panda 4
I wish there was more to say about this film. While it has the same energy and fluidity of the past three films, there’s a significant lack of heart when it comes to the characters we know and love as well as the newer additions. It’s not outright terrible, but certainly feels like the weakest in the series so far. Kids are probably going to love it though thanks to its action and farts. And us adults? Well we get treated to something truly special by the end. A cover of Brittney Spears’ …Baby One More Time by Jack Black’s band, Tenacious D. It’s one of those things you didn’t realize you wanted until you have it, and once you have it you wonder how you possibly could have ever lived without it.
RATING: 3/5
#61. The Kitchen
Daniel Kaluuya comes in with a somewhat decent directorial debut, succeeding in capturing the smaller, grounded moments of community and culture in an almost slice of life story not often found in sci-fi. Yet this does leave the story and world feeling a bit undefined and aloof at times, where the stakes and rules of the world aren’t incredibly apparent. This restraint allows us to be on the same level as the characters, but occasionally it made the narrative feel a bit half baked. Killer soundtrack though.
RATING: 3/5
#60. Ezra
There’s certainly something to be said about how stories will see autistic child characters as tools for their parent’s character growth rather than actual individuals, but I think this film did okay. There is some genuine heart to it and it gets a little prickly in its politics, something that could have easily been a death knell for a film like this, though I do think the performances and authenticity do manage to rescue it.
RATING: 3/5
#59. The Primevals
So this is an interesting one. This was a passion project of David Allen, a pioneer in stop-motion animation in film and television that took over 50 years to complete. Allen unfortunately passed in 1999, so students and friends of the late director banned together to raise the money and manpower to finish this thing. It’s a super impressive and earnest callback to the pulpier days of large scale sets and stop motion creatures. Everything from the score to small nuances in the performances feel so era appropriate to what they were trying to make. While visually charming, the script and story definitely weighs the film down. A lot of dialogue is devoted to scientific babble and explaining things the film itself struggles to get across. There’s quite a lot of meandering in the middle and near the end, which is a shame because it keeps the film from being fully as entertaining as its visuals let on. Still, it’s a very cool execution that speaks to the endearing nature of creativity that left us decades ago.
RATING: 3/5
#58. Stopmotion
It seems unassuming at first, but Stopmotion really gets into some sicko shit as the film goes on. Following a woman trying to finish the stop motion film her strict and oppressive mother was working on before she died, the film goes down a fairly predictive route but one that’s laced with ample amounts of dread and disgust. With a name like that, you gotta deliver on some solid stop motion effects, and luckily the film does. There’s one character that progressively gets grosser and grosser as the film goes on, being made out of things like ash, raw meat, and eventually, human flesh. And there’s really no release, it is a bleak and depressing crawl through themes of artistic expression and even the lack thereof. It starts out pretty tame, but trust me, it gets aptly gross as pieces of the body get peeled and dismembered. It’s a bit more on the artsy side and can be a bit slow, but its unique implementation of two different artistic mediums is certainly admirable.
RATING: 3/5
#57. Gladiator II
A decent follow-up to the original classic that doesn’t exactly come as close to matching it in both scope and innovation. It manages to be somewhat enjoyable as blades and blood fly, and the attention to detail, though noticeably more computer generated, is still admirable to see. The narrative is unfortunately not very strong, while a side-story playing out alongside it manages to be far more interesting and should have been the central plot. It’s a bit of fun, but execution is sorely missing the touch Ridley Scott could once administer.
RATING: 3/5
#56. Megalopolis
You may be surprised to see this film so high on the list. Believe me, I kind of am too. This thing is a tonal and visual mess with goofy performances and a nonsense plot. Yet, there’s something quite admirable about the whole thing. Much like The Primevals, this is a passion project decades in the making that took Coppola’s own money to finance it. At the heart of this story is the dream of a better world where the artists are free to create and share their talents with the world. It casts aside the status quo as the inhibitor of progress and embraces unconventionalism as the gateway to the new society we desperately need…I think? It’s one of those films I’ll probably never watch again, yet I’m glad I saw it. There’s a ton of decade spanning ideas here that just don’t work in the modern day, yet the heart of what was trying to be accomplished certainly burned bright enough for me to see it.
RATING: 3/5
#55. Wicked
A proven crowd pleaser that has more or less transferred the charm of the stage play to the screen, at least when it comes to the performances and characterizations. The two leads have incredible chemistry and nail everything from their dialogue to their songs, but my biggest detractor here comes from the film’s visual style. Flatly lit scenes, overblown backlight and occasionally uninteresting sequence structuring did dampen the magic for me a bit, but I will say I left this having enjoyed it more than I was anticipating.
RATING: 3/5
#54. Immaculate
One of two pregnant nun horror movies to come out in 2024, with this one being led by the on-the-rise Sydney Sweeney. She continues to expand her range of what she’s capable of tackling, and I think she manages to sell the horror and dread of her situation fairly well. That being said, the plot is still very generic despite a clever little spin on it. The presentation is nothing too special, while many of its scares lean far too heavily on loud noises rather than consistent dread. While Sweeney excels in the loud, pained moments, her quieter, more reserved scenes didn’t exactly come together for me. She’s good, but I couldn’t always see past Euphoria or Madame Web in the role unfortunately. It’s pretty by the books, but has an air to it that makes it much more of a crowd pleaser than its competition.
RATING: 3/5
#53. Alien: Romulus
This worked better as an homage to the series rather than a complete, original identity. While most of its callbacks aren’t too terrible, there is a significant amount of weight put on the past that works to hold this thing up at times. The main cast is definitely the saving grace, with Cailee Spaeny and David Jonsson being remarkable together. When it does finally get to its horror elements, Alvarez certainly impresses with the practicality behind the setting and creature work (particularly with that end monstrosity). There is a character in this “played” by a dead actor that felt wholly unneeded, with his existence only really serving as a callback for the sake of a callback. Overall, it’s a fun time, though not one of the more unique outings in the franchise.
RATING: 3/5
#52. Infested
A tight French horror film that’s bound to make your skin crawl. A small apartment becomes the home of an ever-growing horde of spiders, which continue to grow and devour those that get caught in their webs. While the horror is pretty decent, the real pull for me was the comradery between the main characters. The actually feel like real people, and their chemistry with one another helps sell the horror of the situation. I think it takes a bit to really get going and doesn’t completely go crazy with its setup, but this is still a very solid creature flick.
RATING: 3/5
#51. Beetlejuice Beetlejuice
Now this was a welcome and pleasant return to form for Tim Burton, managing to capture just enough of the charm of the original to make this quite a good time. Most of the returning cast does a very solid job, though many of the new characters don’t exactly manage to leave much of a mark. There is a tinge of overstuffed narrative here, as many of the film’s moving parts don’t exactly converge in a super successful way. Nevertheless, this felt the closest to classic Burton we’ve gotten in what feels like a decade, and I was happy to see this was as good as it is.
RATING: 3/5
#50. Deadpool & Wolverine
While its reliance on references and self-referential humor doesn’t generate the most interesting direction this film could go, as a comic book movie fan of 20+ years, this still managed to be a lot of fun. The Reynolds and Jackman dynamic is just as fun onscreen as it had been offscreen, as the two prove to be perfect foils of one another. This stroll down memory lane is filled with plenty of charming returns and shocking appearances no one could have guessed, but it also seemed like these inclusions were given top priority over other things like telling a compelling story or being visually interesting. It’s certainly a bit of fun especially if you’re in the know, aka your mother’s basement, but I do have to wonder about the precedent this sets for the future of Marvel’s films. Nostalgia is a hell of a drug, and Marvel may just become the biggest peddler of it on the street for years to come.
RATING: 3/5
#49. Trap
It has been a hot minute since I could say I actually enjoyed a M. Night Shyamalan film, but there’s just something about Trap, man. Whether he’s in on the joke or not, M. Night managed to find the right tonal strike to match his particular form of writing (purposefully alien or just plain bad depending on who you ask). The silliness and seriousness work so well alongside one another, with their even being a little something to say about the parental drive to make our kids happy. It’s fairly surface level, but I enjoyed the framework it’s built around. Hartnett is also doing some all time faces here. He’s at his best when his back is against the wall rather than trying to play the murder genius trope. Unfortunately, the film remembers it’s technically a crime thriller by the third act and the seriousness ramps up to a point where the comedy comes more from the melodrama rather than the bizarre scenarios of the first two acts. That, coupled with some very generous leaps in logic, make the ending a bit all over the place. I really wish it found a way to stay in its one location for the whole film, but this is easily one of my favorite new releases from the director since Split.
RATING: 3/5
#48. My Old Ass
This was a pretty sweet comedy about regretting the past before you’ve even left it. The smalltown setting is so expertly portrayed from both sides of the coin; an outdated prison meant to be escaped, and a memory of the past that manages to be just as fleeting. It kind of goes exactly where you expect it to, but that’s not always a bad thing when you have a superb pairing of leads to guide you through this coming-of-age tale of falling for a guy literally named Chad. Good use of a Justin Bieber song at least.
RATING: 3/5
#47. Bad Boys: Ride of Die
Though I’m not a huge fan of the franchise, I’m always into new directors with the sauce coming in and whooping ass. That’s essentially what we get from Adil and Bilall, who manage to go balls to the wall with frenetic energy and innovative camera work that manages to elevate and otherwise basic story. Smith and Laurence still deliver prime comedy together, as age and mortality slowly begin to catch up with them. This was definitely a pleasant surprise from the world of action films this year, and I gotta be honest, I didn’t even think about the slap once.
RATING: 3/5
#46. Road House
This film really became an unexpected guilty pleasure of mine. It’s goofy and dumb as hell, but actually manages to be a bit of fun despite being fairly underbaked. There’s hints of Gyllenhaal’s character having a bit more depth to him that never really gets explored, but he’s charming enough to make a particularly one note character work. Can’t say the same for McGregor though. I don’t know what he was told to do on set, but if he was trying to be either funny or intimidating, it just doesn’t work. Some of the fights are okay, with fluid camerawork and interesting setups, but others don’t really have the same juice. I do think the camerawork and editing can sometimes be the villain of these scenes, as the quick cuts and hectic camerawork occasionally lessens the impact of certain hits. Yet it makes up for it by going over the top in a few places. The story probably could have been given another rewrite to trim the fat and be a bit more tight, but this is actually one of the more enjoyable dad-core films to come out in a while.
RATING: 3/5
#45. Am I Okay?
What a year for self-realization in your adult years on film. Your enjoyment may really hinge on whether or not you’re down with Dakota Johnson’s slightly off putting quirkiness (I am), but even still, I found this to be a super sweet approach to self discovery later in your life in a way that doesn’t diminish its message through stereotypical narrative beats and cliches. It’s not earth shattering, but it’s the right amount of emotional and charming to make this a pretty easy watch.
RATING: 3/5
#44. Suncoast
While it doesn’t get nearly as deep into the ramifications of life, death and burdens as much as I hoped, it’s still easy to be moved by this film. A lot of this comes down to the mother/daughter relationship of Linney and Parker; it’s prickly and selfish yet there’s an understanding in grief that’s begging to be tackled by both. Harrelson is just kinda there and doesn’t add much unfortunately, but the leading ladies are the heart and soul of it all. It does get a bit cliche at times, but the emotional moments are the right amount of heavy to not completely crush your soul, but at least give you a tear or two.
RATING: 3/5
#43. Marmalade
A bit torn on this because I really liked where the film ended up going. It’s a bit of Bonnie and Clyde and a bit The Usual Suspects, but the way it makes its way through the narrative isn’t always the smoothest. The performances are great and the writing is consistently witty, but it doesn’t all feels pretty predictable and straightforward. That is until the film gets flipped on its head and makes it all worthwhile. It’s just that the majority of the film plays it straight and narrow, and while it does lead to a worthwhile payoff, you’re still stuck with a good chunk of the film that doesn’t manage to be as exciting. Regardless, it’s still a fun watch, with potentially Joe Keery’s best performance.
RATING: 3/5
#42. Civil War
This is a bit of a weird one, because on the surface, this looks a like political thriller meant to take the heightened emotions of today’s climate and put them head to head in an explosive, self-destructive epic. And if you go into it look at it like that, you may find the film void of any real commentary on the state of the world (which is kind of the truth). Maybe you can chock that expectation up to the marketing, but you won’t find that kind of idealogical warfare here despite it being littered with bloodshed and carnage. It’s more about the apathy of war. The how and the why isn’t important, but the way it’s being treated is. We follow photojournalists with no explicit allegiance to either side, simply there to capture the brutal candidness of war. Their cold, often uncarring demeanor echoes the consumption of tragedy we experience every day; often it’s used to push our own messages and desires. An empire is falling right before tbeir eyes, and all people want to do is either blissfully distance themselves from it or find what they can gain for it. That being said, the objectivety of the film did make me walk away without a truly poignant message to mull over because the film doesn’t really attempt to give any answers or even nudges in the right direction. It’s still a solid film, but one that is perhaps the most misinterpretted of the year.
RATING: 3/5
#41. Lisa Frankenstein
A fun and campy throwback to 80s horror, anchored by goofy and endearing performances and a razor wit script. It’s an aesthetic joy to see, with the neons and the pastels of the 80s properly replicated, with a little spinkling of classic gothic and Tim Burton thrown in there for good measure. For how morbid and dark it can be for a PG-13 film, I wish it did get a little grittier, a little meaner, or at least had a bit more to say like Diablo Cody’s previous film, Jennifer’s Body. Still, a silly and spooky time to be had.
RATING: 3/5
#40. Abigail
Despite initially appearing to be a low-budget, straightforward piece of digestible commercial horror, this ain’t no Blumhouse picture. Honestly, I had a lot of fun with this film’s heavy violence and dark humor. The ensemble is a great collection neredowells and low-lives that can actually make you give a damn about them. Of course, Alisha Wier as the titular vampire girl is terrific, easily earning herself a spot as one of the most standout child actors in a horror film. Thank God for the R rating, because it allows this film to get exactly as bloody as it needs to be. While it’s nothing groundbreaking or new to see, it definitely packs a lot of fun into a small, fanged package.
RATING: 3/5
#39. The First Omen
The second of the pregnant nun horror films of 2024, and the one I happened to like the most. I was shocked too, as I don’t exactly expect much from prequels to famous horror movies made decades later, but I was pleasantly surprised by how well made this was. It has way more of an indie arthouse feel to it, with a tad slower pace that’s lined with the kind of impending doom that comes from religious institutions being not what they seem. The imagery at work here is quite frightening and disturbing, really amplifying the helplessness our main character feels. This paranoia culminates into a terrifying unraveling of religious intent that’s highlighted by a standout scene many have rightfully compared to the subway scene in Possession. I won’t say this is more challenging than Immaculate, as truthfully they’re both on similar levels, but I just happened to like the presentation of this one a bit more.
RATING: 3/5
#38. Twisters
Though it doesn’t reach the same heights of dad-movie legacy sequel that Top Gun: Maverick achieved, I still thought Twisters was a pretty good time, and maybe even a slight improvement on the original. Of course, there’s only so many places you can take a disaster movie, and luckily the film only tows the line of being completely ridiculous instead of going in head first. The presentation of the landscapes and the moments of cataclysm are presented in such a big, effective way that actually manages to get the sweat going. The characters aren’t exactly the most memorable, and I at times hated the on-the-nose nature of some of the film’s soundtrack, but disaster films can easily be a lot worse, yet this one pulls itself ahead ever so slightly.
RATING: 3/5
#37. Orion and the Dark
Charlie Kauffman isn’t exactly the most approachable writer when it comes to films for grown-ups, so I had some concerns about how effective he could in a children’s film. But he does succeed in crafting a fun fairytale that could easily appeal to children while not talking down to them. The idea isn’t the most structurally sound, as the personification of the different elements of the night can feel a bit half-baked at times. But, as an adult, I welcomed the humor and wit of the film’s writing, getting just exstastential enough to not be a complete turnoff for younger audiences.
RATING: 3/5
#36. The Instigators
A pretty servicable, middle of the road crime comedy made more memorable thanks to the lead performances and humor. It’s Boston as all hell, which works great for Damon and Affleck. Love a good, heavy New England accent. There really isn’t a ton to talk about, as the plot and narrative flow is pretty genaric, but a stacked cast keeps this thing from ever really being that dull.
RATING: 3.5/5
#35. Woman of the Hour
A pretty solid directorial debut for Anna Kendrick! It manages to be pretty unnerving through sheer implication, though it isn’t afraid to delve into the horrors of psychopathy whithout crossing a gratuitous or exploitative line. While it doesn’t exactly get much deeper than that, it’s good for a decent thrill where the “based on a true story” tagline actually feels somewhat genuine (you can actually find the episode of The Dating Game this guy was on on YouTube).
RATING: 3.5/5
#34. La Chimera
Hot damn, what a year for Josh O’Connor. His range and talents are truly unique, and I can’t wait to see where he goes from here. From what I can gather, this is a capitalism commentary that shows the vicious nature of both buyer and seller; in this case, focusing on the world of artifacts. O’Conner’s Arthur is in search for what happens after life, finding intrigue in the remains of past identities as he himself exits a “life”, so to speak. Might be completely missing the mark here, as for how laid back and genuine the film is, I didn’t find it the easiet to read. Maybe that can be chocked up to being on a multi-hour flight when I watched this, but it remains solid nonetheless.
RATING: 3.5/5
#33. Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes
Even without Matt Reeves at the helm, the series about apes on the rise still manages to chug along strongly. It houses some of the best special effects in Hollywood, bringing its fun primate cast to life with hardly any threads to be seen. Its questions of coexistance feel poignant and leaves the series in an exciting spot to go further with its world and story. It does lack some of the grit and meditations the other films possess, yet it still continues their trends of being one of the most impressive feats of motion capture animation.
REVIEW: 3.5/5
#32. The Book of Clarence
I really dug everything about this from the performances, set design, cinematography, soundtrack and its satirization on faith, knowledge and belief. And then the last 20 minutes happen. I think the point either got away from the story or the story never truly knew what the point was. It didn’t exactly leave on a very complete notion that either re-affirms or disputes the themes in a compelling way. Either way, this was still a lot of fun for the most part, reminding me of a cross between The Life of Brian and Dogma. I also just enjoys films where Benedict Cumberbatch comes out of nowhere.
RATING: 3.5/5
#31. The Fall Guy
Hot off the heels of playing one of the funniest comedic roles of the decade so far, Ryan Gosling finds himself as a stuntman trying to solve a crime and win over the heart of a director in The Fall Guy. This is one of the better cheesy action comedies that actually manage to deliver on both action and comedy fairly well. Gosling is of course stellar, with his chemistry with Emily Blunt feeling both charming and believable. Not only is the film a love letter to the kind of silly action films we don’t seem to get much anymore, it’s also a loving tribute to the underappreciated roles on film sets that make the magic happen, particularly stunt performers. It almost made me miss my days on set, until I remembered the 16 hour shifts, the shady payment processes, and nearly getting hit by cars while putting those stupid yellow signs up. My biggest fear was that this film would lack many practical stunts and just completely undermine the profession, but no, there’s actually quite a few legit set pieces that helped ground the film with its intentions. Sure, their intensity is a tad dampened by all the special effects surrounding them, but they’re still impressive. The comedy is fairly solid, not being overtly obvious or lame while still being kind of corny in an endearing way. I think this was the definition of a crowd pleaser that did not get enough love while in theaters.
RATING: 3.5/5
#30. Heretic
Aka: Athiest DESTROYS Mormon Girls With Facts and Logic! A film this involved in religious discussion runs the risk of being either preachy or overbearing, but this film seems to nail a solid middle ground that makes good points yet manages to push back against them as well. Possessing one of the most fun scripts of the year, Heretic allows Hugh Grant to play the charming, know-it-all dickhead he’s born to play, and you can tell he’s having a blast in the role. While not containing a ton of horrific imagery, the film does manage to keep you on edge with very intentful cinematography and sound design, often forcing you to spend an uncomfortable amount of time locked in to a scenario. I think as it goes on it gets less interesting, but the surprises do hit for the most part and constantly left me guessing where the film would go, even if the destination wasn’t as wild as maybe it could have been.
RATING: 3.5/5
#29. Drive-Away Dolls
A brisk and naughty roadtrip adventure, feeling reminscent of Coen Brothers past (though on one brother is in the driver seat this go around). Margaret Qualley and Geraldine Viswanathan have tremendous chemistry as two sides of a competing sexual spectrum. The story is fast paced and presented in a goofy but enjoyable way, with creative transitions and leanings on 90s nostalgia and Clinton-era sensibilities, with the film poking fun at the latter with its crude and rude comedy. Though fairly simplistic in its narrative, it has a lot of fun with itself and manages to be one of the most humerous films of the year. This is a standout year for Qualley, who we’ll be talking about more later down the list (sorry I never got around to Kinds of Kindness).
RATING: 3.5/5
#28. A Quiet Place: Day One
You would think a plot as straight forward as A Quiet Place would have little room for expansion, but this film proves otherwise. The human element to the film is quite strong, taking a much different approach to survival than the previous films. Lupita N’yongo and Joseph Quinn make an unlikely but endearing pairing, each with their own motivations for navigating the apocalypse. While it may not feel as inventive as the first, it still brings new ideas and imagery to the table that felt very welcome. Seeing a city like New York slowly fade away amidst an alien invasion is quite haunting at times, yet the struggles of its citizens feel realized and personal, particularly Nyong’o’s nihilistic but heartfelt mission. It does feel like retreading ground at times, but this film definitely succeeded where it needed to with its characters.
RATING: 3.5/5
#27. MadS
A shame I caught this right after Halloween ended, as it easily would have gotten a shout-out in my Best Horror Films of 2024 video. It’s a super invigorating and unique take on the zombie genre, all done in (allegedly?) five takes to simulate one long, continuous shot. The amount of locations and traveling done in the film is genuinely insanse and I have no clue how you can even pull off something this large in scale without shutting down an entire town. This is far more of a paranoid, bad trip of a film than a straightforward zombie story, which I enjoyed because you get to actively experience the degradation of an infected individual in such a haunting and sad way. Love the station scene from Possession? There’s like three of them here, and you know what? They’re all pretty great.
RATING: 3.5/5
#26. Wicked Little Letters
The internet didn’t create hostile, anonymous posting. It’s always been in our blood. Olivia Coleman and Jessie Buckley make for quite the rivals, with neither really approving of one another’s views and ways of life, but their approaches to dealing with them differ drastically. It’s a hysterical romp containing some of the most colorful string of swears and insults you’ll hear all year. Sometimes you just need to call people c*nts, and we should really be embracing that more.
RATING: 3.5/5
#25. Sometimes I Think About Dying
One of those films where you know not much will happen, yet it still finds a way to cut deep. It captures social isolation and depression fairly well, while sharing the different spectrums of monotony; the trivial as well as the little moments of warmth. Daisy Ridley barely says a word and it’s easily the best performance I’ve seen from her. The dreary backdrop of Oregon has that aura where you know nothing monumental will happen here, which manages to be both comforting and sad. It’s so genuine and earnest, so funny and off-putting, with a quiet but ringing ending. We just want to know we’re being seen, whether we think we want to be or not.
RATING: 3.5/5
#24. I Used to be Funny
Two Phoebe Bridgers songs in one movie? Are you trying to kill everyone??? Honestly, the comedy was probably the weakest part of the film, but the dramatic and very depressing narrative actually felt very mature and respectful. Rachel Sennot continues to impress with her authenticity, proving she is far more than a one-note comic. I was expecting a similar vibe to Shiva Baby and got bitch slapped for that assumption. Don’t make the same mistake I did, but do check this out for a sad but hopeful story of living through trauma and fighting your way to yourself again.
RATING: 3.5/5
#23. We Live in Time
Better than living in a society. It’s pretty straightforward, but the Pugh/Garfield chemistry is undeniable. Shown through a non-linear timeline that plays with expectations and foreshadows the inevitable, I think this did a terrific job with portraying tragedy and the raging against the helplessness and the redefinement of your life it causes. Super sweet, authentic and home to genuinely one of the best birth scene I’ve ever witness, this ticked almost all the boxes for me.
RATING: 3.5/5
#22. Problemista
Such a creative and dream-like take on scratching your way through the nonsense rules that make up our society. Director and star Julio Torres is certainly one to watch, possessing such a great comedic eye for the absurd that’s both out there and close to home. Tilda Swinton is, and I mean this as a compliment, playing one of the hardest to watch characters I’ve ever seen. She’s so cartoonishly up her own ass and unaware of herself, and yet I know people who are just like this. For how out there and nutty it gets, it never forgets the human heart that grounds all of it and makes this film truly something special.
RATING: 3.5/5
#21. The Bikeriders
A surgical dive into the hierarchies and operations of an ever-growing club whose foundation continues to weaken despite their growth in power. It hopes to shed light on the enigmatic pull these groups have and what draws people to join them, all while finding vulnerability beneath the leather clad, machismo front. Plus, it’s just a smorgasbord of the most aggressive midwestern accents, connected to some truly stellar performances that move you, entertain you and perfectly represent the time period. It doesn’t really get too introspective nor does it really present any new takes on the aesthetic, but sometimes just a solid film with some great stars is all you need.
RATING: 3.5/5
#20. Strange Darling
This is easily one of the best looking and well constructed thriller films of 2024. This nonlinear game of cat and mouse between a man and a woman is more than meets the eye, though what you see on the surface is still pretty great. Shot on film and utilizing a smart and striking color scheme, Strange Darling is putting maximum effort into its aesthetic, something I wish more films, especially horror, would commit to. The film’s fractured narrative generates an engaging mystery, playing on tropes and boundaries in a way that just might spin you for a loop. The two leads are incredible, the directing is smart and intentional, and it even has a little layer of dark comedy underneath it all. All the while, it gives some potentially prickly commentary on consent, power dynamics and manipulation. It’s not always what it appears to be, and I love it for it.
RATING: 3.5/5
#19. Monkey Man
I don’t care if this was just an excuse for Dev Patel to show off his abs and fighting moves; he’s more than earned it. The director and star weaves a story of revenge that is elevated by the injection of poignant Indian culture, a tantalizing soundtrack, and some highly entertaining fight scenes. Patel shows true competence and talent as a director here, rarely ever settling for mediocre shot compositions or transitions. These action sequences are gritty, bareknuckle and highly stylish, really scratching the itch John Wick left us with. But don’t think of this as a John Wick clone, as there is so much unique identity to the film. The film touches upon the political climate in India while also taking time to showcase marginalized communities like the hijra, transgender warriors devoted to the belief in the third gender. The story can be a bit messy at times, but I think that also fits well with the rough and tumble aesthetic. In short; it goes ape shit.
RATING: 3.5/5
#18. Stress Positions
Films centering around life during the pandemic often felt very gimmicky and cheap to me. However, Stress Positions manages to take the setting and use it to form a film that captures the fatigue and restlessness that came with lockdown in a fairly funny and kind of depressing way. It’s quite a claustrophobic film that manages to utilize its uncomfortable nature to pretty solid comedic effect. None of the characters are exactly likable, but there’s something about them that keeps you watching. They are honest representations of the frustrations that came from being cooped up inside for a year, covering the spectrums of seriousness we all saw during that time. The characters do bad things, but you can understand where they’re coming from; that desperation to live the life they want while forces beyond their control hinder them. What makes the film so smart is how this is tied to concerns beyond the pandemic; religion, gender, identity and responsibility for others all share common experiences of repression. The script elaborates on these ideas through biting, witty dialogue courtesy of first time director Theda Hammel, who also edited the film and composed its magnetic soundtrack. I know we all want to forget those few years, but I think they’re worth revisiting in this weird, chaotic, aggressively horny film.
RATING: 4/5
#17. How to Have Sex
An honest portrayal of girlhood; both the good and the bad. It portrays its characters with frustrating authenticity, but also makes room for genuine sympathy. It’s a summer break filled with bad decisions that aren’t just rooted in desires to be young and dumb, but to avoid the unfortunate reality that awaits you once you leave your fever dream. Those wants of being seen, desired and understood lead to traumatic circumstances that feel easy to brush off as simple irresponsibility, but the film knows there’s much, much more to it than that. This manages to be quite the rollercoaster; starting off fun and relatable before taking a dive into the realms of depressing and relatable (the bad kind this time). I think we tend to forget the pressures teenagers face amidst their carefree lives, and how a lot of those pressures are often self-inflicted by sociatal norms that can haunt you into adulthood. Yet there’s so much grace and understanding on display of this here, and while I am not represented in the central focal point of the film, it managed to resonate with me regardless.
RATING: 4/5
#16. The Wild Robot
Just when you think Dreamworks has hit its stylistic peak with the most recent Puss in Boots film, they come right back with another stellar, gorgeous film. It’s incredibly touching and cutesy, but holds a respectable amount of maturity in how it handles death and living up to the impossible standards placed on us by societal structures, specifically with motherhood. Yet I don’t think it ever drifts too far off course of being a kid’s film, containing enough silly talking critters that deliver halfway decent comedy and morals.
RATING: 4/5
#15. Rebel Ridge
At the risk of sounding too hyperbolic, I would reckon this is one of the most important action films of the last few years. Sure, the setup of lone man versus crooked cops isn’t exactly original, but how it goes about the narrative framework is truly remarkable. This is an action film that manages to deliver on thrilling, well constructed fight sequences without taking a single life. This more than just a gimmick, however, as it digs to the root of the antagonists’ identity, which isn’t exactly foreign to the current state of affairs the world is in today. A station of high and mighty, trigger-happy cops is built upon a foundation of “by any means necessary”, evident by how they decide to get our main character’s attention in the opening scene by hitting him with their car. Yet our ex-Marine protagonist, played intelligently by Aaron Pierre, illustrates the non-lethal alternatives to getting things done, as he goes through every violent encounter with the intention to subdue in the most non-aggressive way he possibly can. It’s such a smart way to build a film as a parallel to real life, and it never stops being entertaining, frustrating and eye-opening.
RATING: 4/5
#14. Oddity
It feels like it’s been forever since horror movies have floored me enough to have them in my top 10, and Oddity is the first of a few. This is a bit of a supernatural mystery that takes its time to get going, yet never feels like it’s dragging its feet. Set in Ireland, the film follows a blind clairvoyant trying to get to the bottom of her sister’s murder through otherworldly means. The tension is palpable throughout, but the real star of the film is the tight script, which gradually lets information slip out little by little. It’s one of the smartest scripts I’ve seen from the genre in a while, with each development in the plot leaving me more and more enthralled. But this guessing game is also home to a slowly building uncertainty, one that keeps you guessing as to what kind of monster we’re dealing with here; man, or something else? Plus the sound design’s minimalistic approach is so, so effective, paired with some haunting imagery that really gives it a punch. It goes by quickly but still has latched itself onto me. It takes the familiar haunted house formula, condenses it, and does something wholly unique with it in a way I absolutely loved. While not the most visceral horror film out there, this is great if you enjoy a good mystery and drawn out dread.
RATING: 4/5
#13. The Last Stop in Yuma County
I’m a simple man. I see Jim Cummings in a movie, I watch it. And while he’s not in the director’s chair like I’m used to, this still has all the elements of his films that I love. This is a claustrophobic, hilarious crime film that may seem by the numbers at first, but the last half of the film spirals out of control into one bad decision after another. There’s so many moving pieces in the form of new characters that start to trickle into the narrative, but everything flows so well and remains tight throughout. And like I said, Jim Cummings is the star of the show, using his usual brand of pathetic and neurotic sensibilities to really take this thing off the rails into darkly funny territory. It’s a very quick watch that manages to fly by, remaining engaging and entertaining all the way up to its explosive end.
RATING: 4/5
#12. I Saw the TV Glow
Easily the most out-there film I saw this year, yet one that absolutely rattled me after sitting with it for a while. On the surface, this is a coming of age drama that can elicit several relatable memories of suburbia, hyperfixations, and the heavy expectations that come with conforming into societal norms. Yet there is so, so much more working underneath the surface, and that’s where the horror comes from. It’s obviously allegorical for the trans experience, but I don’t think that topic has ever been utilized to instill so much dread and nausea into a story before, at least from what I’ve seen. Amidst the gorgeous use of color and the unique soundtrack is a fear that you’ve suppressed the true you and will never come to terms with that as you continue to conform to the standards that surround you. There are moments in this film that twisted my stomach in a way I hadn’t felt all year, even though the central idea doesn’t directly apply to me. But through all the darkness and dread is a shining light of hope; a reminder that it’s never over and there is still time to find yourself, no matter how old you are. Some will be turned off by the abstract and ethereal way it presents these ideas, especially with how some of the characters act and speak like exposition devices rather than characters. Even still, this is one of the most bold films of the year that has kept me thinking about it a ton since I first saw it, and that certainly means something.
RATING: 4/5
#11. Hundreds of Beavers
I love a good throwback, but rarely do those kind of films feel genuine in their inspirations. But if you’re a fan of Looney Tunes and Charlie Chaplin, then you’re sure to find the fun in this bonkers homage. Essentially a live action cartoon that’s shot in black and white and utilizes a mixture of digital backgrounds, practical sets and big headed animal costumes, this is sure to be one of the most unique looking films you’ll see all year. The purposefully cheaply made aesthetic is utilized in hilarious and ingenious ways, crafting a slapstick throwback that hits you with rapid fire sight gags and physical comedy at an impressive rate, meaning even if it serves you up the occasional dud, the film moves quickly forward onto the next joke. The upfront goofiness lets you know exactly what you’re getting yourself into from the beginning, yet the film still finds ways to surprise you by continuing to bounce off the wall with cartoonish, kinetic energy. This really feels like a film born to be a cult classic, perfect for late viewings in rowdy theaters, but don’t wait for a moment like that. See it as soon as you can if you’re looking for some of the most fun you’ll have all year.
RATING: 4/5
#10. Snack Shack
A slice of 90s summer nostalgia from Adam Rehmeier, director of The Bunny Game (maybe don’t Google that one). This is such a fun, fast pace, nostalgic comedy anchored by the chemistry between lead stars Conor Sherry and and the ever-on-the-rise Gabriel LaBelle. Their volatile but heartfelt relationship reminded me a lot of Ed Edd n’ Eddy; a couple of go-getters constantly finding ways to maximize their profit through various schemes. From horse races to basement brewed beer, the duo share an ingenuity and determination that is a blast to see played out and challenged. Their dynamic is constructed by a tag team of both stellar performances and a great, whip-crack script that manages to balance both comedy and melodrama very well. On top of that, the film is a loving ode to the simpler days of childhood, filled with swimming, hot dogs and love triangles. It’s a cozy watch that still manages to pack an emotional punch, even if these swings can feel a bit over dramatic. Still, going from one of the most unpleasant watches of the 2010s to this wholesome slice of life certainly shows range as a director.
RATING: 4/5
#9. Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga
This wins the award for the most mistreated film of the year, though I can understand why. Following up Mad Max: Fury Road is a near impossible task, and I think George Miller knew this. So the final product seems to have disappointed some expecting another Fury Road, which I am okay with not getting because…we already have Fury Road. The film’s focus on character over concept crafts a vastly different odyssey that still maintains the carnage and insanity that we loved about the prior film. Anya Taylor-Joy and Alyla Browne do a solid job at portraying the tragic Furiosa through multiple stages of her life, each bringing something unique to the role while building upon the character’s journey. Then there’s Chris Hemsworth, delivering a kooky, unhinged performance as Dementus that steals the show whenever he’s on screen; potentially my favorite performance of the year. While there’s a much more prevalent reliance on CGI effects this time around, I think this gives the visual style of the film a warped, punk vibe that accurately reflects the insanity of the wasteland. The action is still gloriously over the top, with no shortage of impressive stunts and set pieces to gawk at, like the tanker ambush. It’s a tad messy, but I think it’s still one of the most fun and creative films of the year that absolutely deserves a second chance.
RATING: 4/5
#8. Nosferatu
Finally, a modern vampire movie with some teeth on it. Yeah, I’m a big Eggers fan boy, but seriously, he absolutely nails the gothic aesthetic of the source material; from both a stylistic and narrative approach. While it does feel a tad derivative of its predecessors, Eggers still manages to instill his own signature brand of era accuracy and looming dread. Count Orlok, played by resident chameleon Bill Sarsgard, is a force of nature, representing the dark embodiment of lust, manipulation and desire. The psychosexual nature of vampire stories has never felt as haunting, as its utilization as a dark shroud that masks itself as love gives this things layers beyond a simple battle of good and evil. Perhaps Orlok is not the most horrifying thing here; rather, it’s Lily-Rose Depp’s Ellen’s desire for him that she cannot come to terms with herself. Star-studded across the board and home to some of the darkest meditations on evil since Eggers’ The Witch, this stands as a triumph for one of the director’s most sought after achievements; full frontal male nudity.
REVIEW: 4/5
#7. Memoir of a Snail
Damn dude, what a punch in the gut. Adam Elliot is known for his dark stop motion films about childhood and growing old, and his latest outing is no different, but no less effective. The unique, unconventional character and world designs are a joy to see, with so much humanity injected into them; warts and all. At times it’s comically bleak, drawing both uncomfortable laughs and tear buildups depending on the moment; maybe both at times too. There’s so much relatable sadness to unpack here, as I’m trying to remember the last time an animated film cut this deep on a personal level. Yet it still gives off an incredible sense of hope; a reassurance that we’re all on this dumb little rock together and our experiences aren’t as unique as we may think. Everything from the beautifully crafted animation to the gut wrenching vocal performances to the absurd but grounded comedy hit so successfully. This really is something special that you owe it to yourself to check out when you can. Maybe just bring some tissues and be open to the idea of seeing snail ejaculation on screen (yes, really).
RATING: 4/5
#6. Love Lies Bleeding
Something I meant to bring up earlier is that this has been a phenomenal year for female directors. Sure, there have been tons of terrific films of the past few years directed by women, but their work has really seemed to make their way to the forefront for a chance. Love Lies Bleeding is one of those successes. This is both a sexy and grimey crime noir that manages to capture the right amount of pulp to create a highly entertaining, aggressive good time. Kristen Stewart and Katy O’Brien’s erotic but highly combustible relationship is full of lust, insecurities and deceit, which makes each progression in their companionship magnetic and stressful. Both are trapped in this wasteland of a town for one reason or another, and both open each other up to a possibility of hope and happiness they once thought was out of reach. The dusty, dirty aesthetic only adds to the stress, creating a rather isolated setting that tries to dash any sense of hope the moment it sparks. It definitely gets a little out there, taking some big swings by the end that may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but personally I loved it. It’s always great to see an unapologetic LGBTQ film that isn’t afraid to get dirty and gross in between the hot stuff.
#5. Longlegs
While I do think the masterful marketing behind this film created nearly impossible expectations to meet, I still really enjoyed this horror crime thriller, finding it to be one of the scariest films of the year. At times, it feels deeply insidious to watch, showcasing the horrors of real life in a way that leaves you incredibly uncomfortable. It excels at building tension and letting empty space create implications for your mind to stress over. Each scene cut feels like a threat where you don’t know what’s waiting for you around the corner, while the overblown sound design keeps you on edge even when nothing traditionally scary is happening. Maika Monroe is a solid conduit for us to experience this trauma with, while Nicolas Cage brings the satanic drag madness as the titular killer. There were so many moments where my breath just left me, as the film expertly allows your mind to do the heavy lifting of crafting what nightmares await you, all while never letting you grow comfortable in places where you think you’re safe. The story is fairly straightforward but leaves enough mystery to mull over until the 3rd act lays all the cards on the table, which may disappoint some hoping for a bit more vagueness. But despite that, this story of evil invading our present and past is remarkably effective, making for one of the best serial killer films of the past few years.
RATING: 4/5
#4. The Substance
But my favorite horror film of the year has gotta be this batshit film all about living your best life. Gratuitous as all hell and as subtle as fireworks during a church service, the film wears its schlocky, B-movie heritage proudly on its beautiful, horrendous skin. It gets incredibly gross at times, as flesh gets pierced, stretched and malformed in truly sickening ways, heightened by grade A practical effects and revolting sound design. But what makes the film so compelling is the dynamic between stars Demi Moore and Margaret Qualley; two fame hungry starlets vying over the same consciousness, often forgetting they’re the different sides of the same coin. While it’s crude and juvenile at times, there’s still a solid underlying message about aging and self-hatred that really shines through the grotesque visuals. It’s incredibly goofy, yet some of its more serious scenes, like Elisabeth trying to get ready for her date, show the true horror of our own warped view of ourselves. The film’s presentation is also uniquely maximalist, going big and in-your-face in a way I don’t see a ton of horror films do anymore. With its intense closeups and its striking color palette, it feels so fresh and unique despite a relatively familiar premise. It’s definitely not for the weak stomached, but I suggest they watch anyway because that just sounds funny.
RATING: 4/5
#3. Anora
Sean Baker’s ascent amongst the indie scene has finally paid off with his most recent, Palme D’or winning film. Anora feels remarkably more approachable than his past films, yet he never deters from the controversial subject matters and communities he has focused on over the past several years. That down to Earth, personable energy is still found here, as he dives into the life of exotic dancers and the mega-wealthy. This is a highly entertaining film that may just be the funniest film of the year, though you may not expect it at first. The first chunk of the film plays out like a scrappy, against-all-odds young romance that eventually spirals into a nutty, borderline slapstick comedy that boils with steaming frustrations courtesy of the film’s supporting cast. Mikey Madison is every bit of the heart of this film, however. She is someone who is looking for her way out of the seedy line of work she’s found herself in, but her motives and her willingness to go as far as she can are constantly called into question, even by herself. Her journey of trying to convince herself of the love she thinks she feels because it could be her proverbial light at the end of the tunnel is quite compelling, even when it’s posted up alongside the silliness the film eventually leans into. But everything comes to a head in a moving final scene that encapsulates all of her vices and struggles into one, retching outcry of emotion that absolutely floored me. It’s simply a great time that fires on all cylinders all the way through, and may have you tipping your strippers a little extra going forward.
RATING: 4/5
#2. Dune: Part 2
Good God, I can’t remember the last time my expectations were subverted this heavily. I thought the first Dune was good, but nothing making me do backflips in the theater over. But this right here? This had me doing backflips, somersaults and 360 corkscrews when I got done with this. A genuine, unabashedly incredible achievement in sci-fi storytelling. Denis Villeneuve has somehow found a way to amplify every aspect of the previous film to craft a monumental epic that blows the first film out of the water and into another solar system. The ensemble is terrific, with Timothee Chalamet finally selling me on being not just a terrific actor, but a bonafide movie star. Worlds feel fully realized this time around, and the use of color is far more creative and striking, especially with scenes set on the Harkonen home world or even the very first action scene on Arakis. Which reminds me, the action sequences are staggering in how impressively constructed they are, succeeding at imposing the right amount of scale and grandeur into each. I usually hate “chosen one” narratives at this point, and yet the film finds a way to play against the expectations of such a trope, delving into the power and ego that comes with being proclaimed a messiah. Maybe I’m a bit head over heels because I saw it opening weekend in IMAX with a fantastic crowd, but let me tell you, I was leaning forward in my chair multiple times because I was just that locked in. Villeneuve absolutely deserves his flowers for this achievement; one that we all knew he was capable of for a very long time.
RATING: 4.5/5
#1. Challengers
Usually this spot ends up getting taken up by the film that made me say “f*ck yeah, movies!” the most while watching it, and I can think of no better champion of that feeling that I’ve had this year than Luca Guadagnino’s latest masterpiece. My God, what an absolute thrill this film is on both a narrative and technical level. Somehow a love triangle movie with no sex scenes managed to be one of the steamiest, intoxicating films I’ve seen all year, and that really comes down to the performances and the craft behind it. The leading trio is phenomenal, with each possessing different desires and goals that occassionally overlap and often push them apart. The three of them are constantly in bed with one another while also holding knives to each others’ backs, yet none of their conflicts feel forced for the sake of the plot. Most of them are just huge POS’s, but their negatives all come from an understandable place. Their journeys together are told through a frenetic, constantly building visual style that takes sports cinematography to a whole new level, while never forgetting to remind us how erotic the sport of tennis can be. But it’s also a testament to how Guadagnino can elevate simple story beats into moments that feel like life or death. The match between Art and Patrick that we cut to and from throughout the film isn’t in itself a high stakes game, and yet it’s presented as the end of the world because of the emotional implications behind it. Truly some of the most fun and intentful camerawork I’ve seen all year. And the music? Goddamn you Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross for creating this infectious score of electric club-type beats that shouldn’t work as well as they do, oh but they do. This ticks every box I’m looking for in what I consider a perfect movie; it’s enticing, frenetic, and genuinely made me say “oh shit” out loud at one point; not joking. While this was a year of bangers, this one bangs the hardest, and they didn’t even have to put in any banging. Masterful work.
RATING: 5/5
The Martini Shot 