People have asked me: “Brandon, why do you bother reviewing movies you know you don’t think you’re going to like?” Well, there can be a few reasons. I could want to support a specific actor or director, the premise could intrigue me, or I could have just a sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe, it’ll learn from prior films, look at what works and what doesn’t, and try something different in order to to perfectly bring its idea to life.
None of that applies to Five Nights at Freddy’s 2; I just thought I’d give you a little insight.
But why would you try something new with this franchise? The first one became Blumhouse’s highest grossing film ever despite reeling in fairly negative reviews from critics. But that’s not who Blumhouse is interested in; it’s the fans. The ones who will show up no matter what to see their favorite characters on screen. And if that’s how you choose to engage with these films, then by all means continue to do so. You probably won’t care much about my opinion. But, as someone who is fairly familiar with these games and the lore surrounding them, I think you can set your standards just a little bit higher.
Every issue I had with the prior film returns in spades in Five Nights at Freddy’s 2, which forgoes trying to be a horror movie and instead tries to be a gigantic lore dump, overstuffed with as many nods and winks to the video game franchise as possible. Because of this, the movie finds very little meaningful things for our main characters to do. Meanwhile, the second film seems to strip most, if not all attempts at being scary with far weaker jumpscares and overall atmosphere this go around. It reeks of a film willing to get by on fan loyalty, thinking it’ll be seen because of brand recognition while giving you not a single meaningful memory to take home with you. So without an intriguing story, characters, or scares, I struggle to see any reason why someone would care to watch this.
Picking up after the first film, Mike, Vanessa and Abby are all just trying to move on with their lives. Well, maybe not Abby, because she finds herself missing her animatronic ghost friends, so much so that she is pulled towards the very first Five Nights at Freddy’s location, where a whole new threat is starting to take shape. The characters are more or less what they were in the first film; kid with a connection to the paranormal, lore machine included to explain every little thing, and guy. It doesn’t really use the events of the first movie to push towards any meaningful development, even though we’re told time and time again how much stress everyone is under. Abby is obviously the core of the film, wishing to reunite with the animatronics, but the film doesn’t do anything deeper with that. She shows the ability to make real, living friends at the beginning of the movie, so her sadness over not being able to see her dead ones just feels odd. This could have been used as a tool to inscribe some message about making peace with your grief and moving forward, but there’s not even an attempt to try to say anything here.
The only real new characters of note are the new animatronics. Same as the last film, they look incredible; genuinely impressive one-to-one recreations from the games. They aren’t exactly scary, but the first film didn’t even really try to convince you of that anyway. I do like the imagery and use of the Marionette, who is kind of the de facto villain of the film. There’s actually some really cool effects and makeup that comes from it possessing people, which is probably the closest this movie ever feels to a horror movie. There’s even some halfway decent motivation for the villain this time around, being a lot more vengeful than just the mindless evil from the first film. It’s not all that compelling and eventually leads to nothing, but it’s as close to a compliment as I can give for this.
Despite how cool it might be to see these characters brought to the screen, the plot just ends up being a jumbled mess and a slog to get through. It’s nothing but exposition, conveniences and little nods to the franchise that don’t amount to anything worthwhile. The plot just feels like something to rush through so we can get to more easter eggs rather than something that had much thought put into it. I get having to extend your disbelief for movies like this, but the film takes its time to throw out new rules that it doesn’t even seem content with sticking to. For instance, Abby is drawn to the old location by a speech machine she finds at the place from the first film. The ghost at the old location uses it to communicate with her and trick her into coming to the old location, but the film makes it pretty clear the ghost’s influence can reach outside the location without the help of Abby. Like, I guess they could have built up Abby’s connection to the dead that could explain that, but it just feels like haphazard convenience to move the plot forward.
And aside from plot issues, the rest of the writing is just so bland and unremarkable. There’s no charm or sense of humor to, with every attempt at being heartfelt or funny falling completely flat. It reads like a first draft, which I wouldn’t doubt it is because you just know it isn’t an interesting story reeling people in. Weak story and convoluted lore can be more easily forgiven in a video game, because it’s the interactivity that you’re there for. You can fill the gaps in with your own mind and interpretations because it’s easier to insert yourself into what’s happening. When you try to translate that directly to film, it just doesn’t work. There’s a scene essentially recreating the game mechanics from the first, and it’s the biggest example of what I’m talking about. The translation of this from game to screen ends up being laughable and misguided, not even attempting to capture the same scares of the game and instead making it a fun little nod for fans. Yeah, like I said, the horror is pretty much nonexistent. These games aren’t exactly known for gore or heavy violence; they build up their scares with tension and surprise. But every jumpscare in this is highly telegraphed or just poorly set up, and the only thing about them that will make you jump is the loud ass sound effects played alongside them.
I’m struggling to even find anything new to add to this critique, because it just repeats every issue I had with the first film. It didn’t even try to improve upon itself because it made all its money back by appealing to people that just want to see recognizable characters on the big screen. I’m not even a huge Five Nights at Freddy’s fan, but this feels like a huge disservice to the fanbase. Maybe I’m out of touch and the fans have moved away from the horror and focus more on the ever-expanded lore and the colorful characters, but nothing about what made those games appealing, at least to me, is present here. The film knows it isn’t trying to win you over; it’s already got you here. That’s why it’s content on giving you a half-baked story that feels purposefully incomplete in order to sequel bait you, scares that don’t actually try to frighten you, and enough jingly keys to keep your attention because it thinks you’ll equate recognizing with enjoyment. Did people enjoy the original video game because it had recognizable characters and winks and nods to itself? Hell no, but the film seems to think that’s all you really want without realizing what made it popular to begin with. At the end of the day, if you take away all the IP stuff and leave it to survive on the merits of its story, its characters and its horror, this thing wouldn’t make it out of the deepest depths of Tubi. I can’t say I’m disappointed because my hopes for this were already underground, but if you’re a fan of the games or even the first film, I sure as shit would be.
RATING
THE MARIONETTE
If you’ve already read my review, then you know this is gonna be a strong one. The Marionette is inspired by the puppet of the same name from the film and will include a lot of his color palette, with the addition of two bright red cherries to replicate the puppet’s rosy cheeks. It will be dark and heavy but nice and sweet with the mixture of chocolate and raspberry, while also having a nice frothy body thanks to an egg white. No strings attached for this cocktail.
INGREDIENTS
- 1.5oz dark rum
- 1/2oz raspberry liqueur
- 1/4oz creme de cacao
- 1/2oz maple syrup
- 1 egg white
- Pinch of black sugar (optional)
- Garnish: 2 cherries
INSTRUCTIONS
- Add ingredients to a shaker and dry shake (without ice) for about 15 seconds.
- Add ice to shake and shake to chill.
- Strain into chilled coup glass.
- Garnish with 2 skewered cherries.
The Martini Shot 