Mortal Kombat is one of my favorite games that I am absolutely dogshit at. I can’t string combos together to save my life, but that’s not why I really love the games. I like them because they’re just a candy store of interesting characters, great designs and heaps of lore that doesn’t make a lick of sense. But that hasn’t stopped the series from trying to inject a little bit of storytelling into its bones, whether it be through the games or with a handful of movie adaptations. When it comes to theatrical live action adaptations, the series doesn’t have the strongest track record. You’ve got a campy kick off, a follow up considered to be one of the worst movies ever, and a modern reboot that nailed the aesthetic while forgetting that movies also need to have good characters and interesting dynamics. So if you enjoyed that previous film, then I’ve got good news, and if you didn’t, then…well, you probably already know.

Mortal Kombat 2 is perhaps the most true-to-form the Mortal Kombat movies have ever been, wherein its colorful and fun to look at while having an absolutely nonsense narrative. The characters do look their parts, but their characterization is so flat and boring that it often borders on being unfun. The film is stuck between being cheesy and self-serious, not really fully committing to either, leaving you with a slew of good moments that have to live right alongside halfhearted moments of sentimentality. The storytelling is, unfortunately, just not strong enough to make this balance work, so the movie relies on keeping the action constant and plentiful to make up for it. That’s certainly welcome, but outside of a few gory fatalities, the action often doesn’t manage to hold a candle to what the action genre has accomplished in the past few years. You could call this “for the fans”, and as a fan, it’s pretty much exactly what I expected. That doesn’t mean it’s all that good.

For starters, the film has a bit of a main character problem, unsuccessfully juggling the new characters taking center stage while also giving enough play to the returning cast. Johnny Cage, played by Karl Urban, is a washed up action star who is pulled into the world of Mortal Kombat, basically the same kind of set up with Cole Young from the first movie. Don’t worry if you’re not a fan of that OC, by the way. That’s all I’m gonna say. Urban does have his moments, but his performance is so wooden, mostly due in part to the character being as flat as a board. It’s the same “washed up hero” act we’ve seen before, and the film rushes through giving Cage any real depth or emotional moments. And I hate to say this about Urban, but his performance just isn’t funny enough to kind of let that slide. The story leans into the more pathetic side of Cage every now and then, but there seems to be this resistance to really go all in to make his eventual turn into a hero all the more satisfying.

Newcomer Kitana, played by Adeline Rudolph, has the more interesting background out of the two leads, and I kind of wish the film had her more front and center. There could have been more turmoil over betraying her homeland in order to defeat her evil, adoptive father Shao Khan, or more push and pull between her and her longtime protector and friend Jade. She’s easily the heart of the film; a heart that is barely beating after being ripped out of a chest, but still a heart. Speaking of heart ripping, Josh Lawson’s Kano is back and he is the best part of this movie. Everything he says is just so funny, and even though his entire inclusion in this movie is so shoehorned and needless, I’m happy for it, because he makes everybody else look worse by comparison. Seriously, everyone else here is either an exposition machine or background filler, while Kano is the only one I actually got excited to see in each scene.

And Kano ties into this film being a lot more funny than its predecessor. The comedy doesn’t always work, but it does make the film feel a lot more fun in comparison. The cheese isn’t cranked up to the same levels of the original films, but I do think it was needed. For how serious the games are, there’s no real way to approach this source material without being a little tongue in cheek. That being said, the more serious moments feel really jarring to the rest of the film.They try to add some emotional weight to the film, but it honestly just feels kind of insulting with how halfassed they come across. They go through all the cliches you’d expect, struggling to build an enticing narrative around the central idea of the film; punching a hole through a guy’s head. There is actually a Mortal Kombat tournament in this film, even though the rules are insanely loose and apparently don’t matter. It’s supposed to be fights to the death, but the film doesn’t want to kill off too many of its main characters, so some fights just end for no reason. There’s also a moment when someone switches sides right as the tournament ends, which restarts the final fight. Where is the referee? Do something, blue! Maybe these basic storytelling beats would be more serviceable if there was an interesting style to the film, but you’re not really gonna find that outside of the fight scenes.

But narrative weaknesses aside, at least the fights are good…right? Well, some of them. When they’re focused on spectacle and solid use of the environment, they can be. The fight between Johnny Cage and Kitana has some solid use of the area, while Lui Kang’s first fight is quite flashy and has some solid uses of special effects. But, for me, so many of these fights feel heavily choreographed, more like a dance than an all out brawl to the death. It can make it feel like a lot of fists are thrown, but rarely is anything hitting or causing lasting damage. And when the special effects get brought in, things can be a tad mixed. The whole look of the film sways in quality, with green screens looking too obvious at times and some particle and light effects looking shockingly bad. I hate to say it, but I hate the Baraka design here, mostly the mouth. Doesn’t look much better than the Halloween mask the original character was created with.

I’ll be fair; I enjoyed this more than I was expecting to. I can chalk this up to Kano making me laugh every time he’s onscreen, and to the occasional good fight that actually looks visually impressive. The quick pace of this thing certainly helps, wasting no time and getting right into the action. But with the flat characters, the bland story and the hesitance to do anything all that stylish, this just seems destined to be a film remembered less for the movie itself and more for its “Mortal Kombat 2 – All Fight Scenes Compilation” videos on YouTube. You know they’re coming, and they might just be the ideal way to watch this thing.

RATING

NOOB SAIBOT

I was going to do a Sub Zero cocktail to match the Scorpion cocktail I did for the first film a few years back, but unfortunately, old chilly doesn’t make an appearance in this film. At least, not as the cryomancer we once knew. Instead, he has transformed into his next phase, the undead shadow warrior Noob Saibot (who they do not call him that because the filmmakers are cowards). So, to match this dark figure, we have an equally dark cocktail that combines Japanese whiskey, blackberry and a little cola to create a tart, slightly sweet cocktail. For added flavor (and considering Noob is occasionally connected to the character Smoke in the games), I have also smoked the cocktail, which makes for quite a unique and welcome alteration to the fruit and soda flavors. FINISH IT!

INGREDIENTS

• 1.5oz Japanese whiskey
• 1/4oz raspberry liqueur
• 1 barspoon mezcal
• 6 blackberries
• 1/2oz lime juice
• pinch of black sugar
• Top: cola
• EXTRA: Smoke

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Add ingredients to a cocktail shaker and shake with ice.
2. Double strain into a rocks glass filled with ice.
3. Top with cola.
4. If you’d like, smoke the cocktail with whatever smoking apparatus you have available (the glass may have to be smoked beforehand depending on your setup.