He-Man is back, and just in time for Pride Month. Remembered as being your dad’s third favorite toy line, He-Man was a product that became a cartoon, that became a cultural phenomenon…like, 30 years ago. Safe to say, this new Masters of the Universe film feels like it’s coming just a bit too late, don’t you think? Sure, there recently was a She-Ra cartoon that had no He-Man and a Masters of the Universe cartoon that had He-Man for ten minutes, but it’s not like the masses were clamoring for some more buff men in funny outfits. Actually, wait, the masses have never not been clamoring for that.

He-Man was the response of a toy company who wanted to try to compete with Star Wars, and this new film is a response from the same toy company who got shocked by Barbie doing insanely well. The franchise has never not been a reaction to something else, so is there really any fun to be had with the Masters of the Universe in the year of our He-Lord 2026?

Surprisingly, yeah, there is. Enough fun? I’m not entirely sure.

2026’s Masters of the Universe reminded me a lot of Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves in its style, wit, and the fact that it’s probably gonna make no money. Which is honestly a shame, because there was a surprising amount I liked here. I think this modern characterization of He-Man, a spellbound himbo who’s in touch with his feelings enough to put the “man” in “human”, is actually pulled off fairly well. It helps that every actor in this is fully bought into the silliness of the setting and aesthetic, but the film surprisingly doesn’t feel like it’s been overmedicated on irony pills. Somehow it manages to strike a nice balance between winking and nudging at the absurdity of the world, but it never completely undermines it either, feeling actually sort of proud to be repping Eternia. Plus some of these fight sequences are actually a lot of fun, getting real wild and winding with the camera work and particle effects. Don’t get me wrong, it’s far from perfect. The pacing really drags its feet, and the world feels incredibly artificial at times. The comedy isn’t too bad, but it’s not exactly gonna make you laugh out loud, even if you’re a diehard fan I reckon. But, with all that, this is actually not half bad for what it is. A misguided cash grab for sure, but one that still manages to have a little fun along the way.

The cast absolutely sells the weirdness of this world, with there not really being a bad performance from the main characters to even some of the one-off freaks we come across. Nicholas Galitzine is great as the buff but kinda dumb version of He-Man, with Bottoms being a great precursor to his final form. Okay, he’s not dumb per say, just a little naive. It keeps him likable and far from being a boring protagonist, especially with his grapples with masculinity and manlihood. Now, don’t choke on your Mountain Dew, chuds. This isn’t a woke-ified adaptation, this is just taking a bare bones idea and putting a little depth into it. We get some nice back and forths with his best friend Teela, played by Camila Mendes, but she’s honestly left out to dry on character development, feeling mostly just like a competent sidekick. Her dad, on the other hand, is a different story. Idris Elba once again proves he can be the best part of an okay film, as his Man-at-Arms is a man who failed, desperately trying to become the man he once was again in quite entertaining fashion. Alison Brie, who I didn’t even recognize at first as Evil-Lyn, is effortlessly campy in the role. And then there’s Jared Leto.

What dirt does he hold on Hollywood execs to be consistently landing these big roles? Sure, he’s talented, but I can’t remember the last time a role of his floored me…until this one. Leto is phenomenal as the big bad Skeletor. I had my hang-ups when I heard he wasn’t gonna have the nasally voice, but this version of the character is just as pompous and whiny as I remember him being. He actually serves as a decent antithesis to He-Man. Sure, he’s nothing but pure evil, but his obsession with control and power is driven by the expectation of being the strongest guy in the room, which goes against He-Man’s rejection of those ideas. The role is fully mocapped and the voice is modulated, so I don’t know how much of Leto’s performance actually comes through here, but for what it’s worth, the guy does a great job at feeling menacing yet silly.

I was actually kinda surprised by some of the brutality of this film. It’s nothing gory or anything, but people are straight up dying in sometimes gruesome fashion, so I just thought that was neat. There’s definitely an air of the adult to the film; just enough that kids might not catch on, but plenty for the adult fans this movie is definitely trying to pull in. There’s talk of fisting, giving people head and swords dangling between creamy thighs, but I actually think the film keeps from being too overtly cringey with its attempts at humor. Like I said earlier, this isn’t the most gut busting of comedy at play here, but I honestly found the jokes to hit more often than they miss. It helps that the script actually has a nice bit of wit to it. Genuine wit, not the artificial “ha ha, isn’t this character’s name stupid” kind of wit. There is some of that here,and it’s the worst parts of the comedy, but luckily it isn’t the bulk. And while I can take or leave some of the bigger action set pieces in this, anytime someone’s throwing hands, I was having a good time. The camera work and editing is so playful, punching in for emphasis and allowing the action to be well seen rather than hidden by particles or the shake of a camera.

A good amount of positives, but there’s some negatives too. This thing did not have to be nearly 2 and a half hours long. I get there’s a lot of lore and backstory to stuff in, but surely there could have been a more concise way to do this. Prince Adam’s backstory, his time on Earth and the final act could have absolutely had a few minutes shaved off of each. I just kept getting bored until the film went to its next setting, and even then, the story doesn’t entirely feel like a journey. Everyone just happens to be in the right place at the right time, so there doesn’t always feel like you’re getting a lot of character growth or narrative beats. The story itself is pretty bone dry, with a lot of those aforementioned themes not really having a worthwhile impact in the story. Then there’s the visuals, which I think are mostly fine, but man, for every interesting practical set, there’s another obvious green screen that takes all weight out of the film. I get that not every fantastical space can be created practically, but the characters hardly even interact with their environments, like they were just pasted into them rather than them being a part of the story. Eternia hardly even feels like a realized place; just a mismatch of environments that leave no real impact. For everything it does better than some modern superhero movies, there’s still the usual trappings the movie occasionally falls into.

So, look, this isn’t some amazing, franchise revitalizing thing, mostly because no one seems to care about this franchise in the first place. But there are genuinely some elements here that are worth appreciating. It feels earnest to the IP, looking just as weird as you would expect these characters to. The script actually sounds like it was fun to write, at least from a dialogue point of view, and the whole thing feels like it could appeal to any age. It’s solid, just maybe not that memorable. After all, we’ve been down this road so many times before when it comes to superhero movies and IPs being resurrected from the dead. Despite its attempts to break ahead of the pack, there are unfortunately enough elements working against it that keep it from going from good to great. But a somewhat good movie it is; one that might actually be worth checking out somewhere down the line. Just wake me up when Street Sharks are getting their own movie. The kids have had their fun, but now it’s the men’s turn.

RATING

SKELETOR

Sure, He-Man is the face of this franchise, but no one has endured cultural relevancy quite like the big bad, Skeletor. So I decided to base the cocktail off of him, getting wild and weird with out-there flavor pairings that make for a smokey, yet fruity cocktail. There’s a lot of hoops to jump through, with the optional Electricdust and the pineapple ice cube shaped like a skull, but this can be simplified to your heart’s content to make it more accessible for you. Don’t have Electricdust? Skip it! Don’t have an skull ice cube? Any ice mold will do! Never forget, you have the power.

NOTE: Cocktail was staged for presentation rather than practicality. If that’s not something you want to worry about, serve the drink in a more standard glass, like a rocks glass.

INGREDIENTS

• 1.5oz mezcal
• 3/4oz lychee liqueur
• 1/4oz blue curacao
• 1/2oz lime juice
• OPTIONAL: Pinch of electricdust
• Pineapple skull ice cube

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Add ingredients to a cocktail shaker and shake with ice.
2. Strain into cocktail glass.
3. Add pineapple skull ice cube to glass.