What can I really say about William Friedkin’s 1973 horror masterpiece The Exorcist that hasn’t been said already. It’s an indisputable classic, once hailed as the scariest film ever made. It made people faint and vomit in the theaters, caused a much needed overhaul of the film rating system, and may have actually been cursed by the devil himself. It’s an iconic piece of film history that never needed to be expanded upon, but that didn’t stop Hollywood from trying. A few years after the original was released, a widely panned sequel was put out into the world. The series would lay dormant for almost 20 years until the third film, The Exorcist 3, was released in 1990, which I actually think isn’t too bad of a film even if it comes nowhere close to the original. 

But now here we are in 2023 with studio execs thinking they can still ride off a legacy property with no real inspiration at the helm. Universal bought the rights to the franchise for $400 million dollars as part of a joint venture with Blumhouse to bring a new trilogy of Exorcist films to the screen, enlisting director of the newest Halloween trilogy David Gordon Green to steer the ship. If all of this sounds like one big mistake…that’s probably because it is. Friedkin realized this too before his death, and made his thoughts and feelings very clear on the situation. He’s probably happy he left this world just in time, because he absolutely would not have liked this film, and I’d have to agree with him on that.

The Exorcist: Believer seeks to capture the dreadful ambiance of the original film, yet lacks the innovation and teeth that made it such a trailblazer all those years ago. The scares are predictable and uninspired while the script is full of incredibly lame, preachy dialogue that does a disservice to the potentially interesting dynamic the film establishes. Even though the technicals are passable, they easily get overshadowed by not only the original film, but the dozens of other exorcism films that have come out in the past 50 years. And hey, if you don’t think it’s fair to compare this film to the original so much, then maybe you shouldn’t have called it the f*cking Exorcist. 

In The Exorcist: Believer a widowed father grows distressed when his daughter and her friend disappear into the woods one day, only to remerge days later with no memory of what happened. It begins to grow apparent that the girls brought home something demonic with them, as their physical appearances and personalities begin to change rapidly. With the help of members of his community and someone with experience in possession, the father must fight an unholy battle to save the lives of the two girls. 

The premise doesn’t really get all that unique, going down the plot avenues one would expect. The girls get possessed, they start to wild out, culminating in a final big exorcism. We’ve certainly seen it before, and while there are sprinklings of new ideas here and there, sprinklings are all they are. The original film was all about the loss of innocence and crisis of faith, but here those elements feel pretty underutilized. Because there’s two kids involved this time, we don’t get nearly enough screen time for both of them, making their eventual turn to evil not nearly as gut wrenching. As far a faith is concerned in the film, it’s a bit all over the place. Leslie Odom Jr.’s Victor is a non-believer after the death of his wife, but as shown in the film’s opening flashback, it’s not like he was much of a believer to begin with. His progression with his faith doesn’t really go anywhere meaningful, just being used as a catalyst to finish out the climax. It’s not nearly as compelling as a priest questioning his faith like in the original. There are some intriguing ideas like tying other types of faiths into the mix, but those don’t get utilized in any real interesting way. It’s still firmly rooted in its Catholic origins, but the only relevant connection to modern day Christianity I could see was characters getting bullied for wanting abortions. 

The performances are fine enough as is, with some standouts being Leslie Odum Jr. and Lidya Jewett as his daughter Angela. But god damn, does the writing absolutely ruin some of these performances from good actors like Ann Dowd and Ellen Burstyn. Ann Dowd basically becomes a hokey conduit for weakly written monologues about hope and faith, while Burstyn gets relegated to an underutilized legacy character whose overall impact is less Laurie Strode from the previous Halloween films and more like Sally Hardesty from 2022’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Like the original film, the biggest draw here is seeing young, innocent girls become terrifying monsters. Yet their demonic nature is really toned back compared to Regan’s performance. They copy a lot of elements from the first film like Regan’s appearance. Hell, they even casted a girl that kind of looks like Regan, showing that they really can’t let go of the iconography of the past. The demons this time around seem so devoid of personality and feel like less of a character than Pazuzu. When we do get that iconic Exorcist vitriol and foulness, it’s severely toned down and not nearly as shocking. Not much talk of c*nts or letting Jesus f*ck you. Surprising, considering horror has shown its willingness to really push the envelope for what they’re willing to show over the decades. For both the current and past time periods, it feels very underwhelming. It ends up looking like a lazy impression rather than its own unique thing, which I don’t fault the actors for, mostly the people behind the scenes.

This essentially follows the same recipe David Gordon Green utilized in his Halloween trilogy. Make it built on the nostalgia of the past and refrain from going too far off the beaten path to not alienate the casual viewer. I will give the film some credit though. Like I said before, the technicals are pretty good, and even though it’s painfully obvious the film is borrowing the look and style of the original a bit too heavy, the makeup, prosthetics and camera work are all fairly decent. You get brief glimpses of competent storytelling, like when the girls first go missing. There’s a decent amount of realistic anxiety that comes with losing a child, but a lot of this does get diminished by the poor writing. The film does a decent job at building suspense to an extent, though not very scary, there are some good moments of tension and atmosphere. There’s a scene very akin to the Red Faced Demon first appearance from the first Insidious film, though much quieter which I found to be actually unnerving. I love horror that can affect you in silence, and there’s at least one good example of that here. For the exorcism finale, it’s mostly par for the course while not really capturing the uncomfortable atmosphere of the first film. There the room became frigid and you could see the characters’ breath, making for a truly striking scene. The climax itself doesn’t feel too special, I do have to give the film props for a bit of a ballsy ending that at least felt unconventional compared to the rest of the film. It’s just too bad the rest of the film wasn’t willing to get more risky with the IP.

$400 million is a lot of money, so even if this film completely bombs, we’re still all but guaranteed to get two more films out of this deal. And what an underwhelming place to start. You can tell the crew involved tried to capture the spooky dread of the original, but with no real new ideas to usher the franchise into the new age, my expectations for the trilogy could not be lower. The film ultimately falls flat with its scares and atmosphere, while a weak script takes the narrative and themes in a sloppy, unfocused direction. It’s aggravating as a film sharing the same name as an all time classic, but as a stand alone film it’s just forgettable. If you want to fight the urge to throw yourself down a very long flight of stairs, maybe give this one a pass.

Rating

The Green Deceiver

During my first Halloween on the Martini Shot, I reviewed the original Exorcist film and created a cocktail appetizingly named Pazuzu Puke. While this is a decent enough drink, I wanted to class it up this time around, which is ironic because, spoiler alert, this is a much worse movie. The Green Deceiver sticks with the iconic green appearance akin to…well, the puke. However, this time I’m employing matcha to give the cocktail a bit of an earthiness to it along with a kick of caffeine. Paired alongside it is the maltiness of scotch whiskey, the herbaceousness of gin, the sweetness of banana liqueur, and the creaminess of half and half. Top it off with a nice dusting of nutmeg in the shape of a cross, and you’re ready for a lovely day for an exorcism.

Ingredients

• 1oz gin
• 1oz scotch
• 3/4oz banana liqueur
• 1/2oz half and half
• 1/2oz lime juice
• 1tsp matcha powder
• 1 egg white
• Dusting: Ground nutmeg
• Optional: Cross shaped stencil

Instructions

1. Add all ingredients to a shaker and shake without ice for 20 seconds.
2. Add ice and shake to chill.
3. Strain intro chilled coup glass.
4. Add a light dusting of nutmeg (using stencil if applicable).