The modern dating world is scary. I’m certainly lucky I don’t have to deal with it anymore, but if I did, I think I’d just run off to become a monk. Seems like a lot less stress. I remember seeing an article years ago that humans would be boinking robots in the near future, and while that might sound appealing to some of you freaks out there, your AI chatbot is in no way a replacement for actual human connection. A man made out of wicker though? There might just be something there.

Based on the short story The Wicker Husband, Wicker sees an outcast fisherwoman in a small village gifted with her dream man, made entirely out of wicker. But this guy isn’t just Bad Dragon’s latest promotional item; he’s a living, breathing man who only wants to be the best husband he can be. He’s the perfect guy, which makes everyone else in town pissed. Men feel inadequate and undermined by him, while women feel the fisherwoman doesn’t deserve such a guess. But the couple can’t hear any of that because they are breaking bedframes and getting splinters in the last places you’d think.

But even though this film has been advertised as the horniest movie you’ll see all year, that’s not really what it’s about. And I think that makes the film all the better for it, actually having something to say about relationships and the desire for mutual respect. You could have the perfect partner, but that little worm in your brain will still find a way to make you overthink and ruin a good thing. But while the eroticism isn’t as extreme as the trailers may have made it look, it’s still super raunchy, but in a fun and clever way rather than a childish high school kind of way. This made Wicker quite the fun fairytale, a lot more enjoyable than I had anticipated. It’s got me kinda looking at the wicker baskets at Pottery Barn a certain way.

You need someone to carry the silliness here, and Olivia Coleman is excellent at it. She’s an ostracized woman who knows she’s the butt of the town’s jokes, whether it be for her appearance or how she always smells like fish. She pretends not to care, but secretly, companionship wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. So when a magical basketmaker crafts her wicker husband, she, of course, is delighted to have a new piece of wood to ride, but she’s opened up to so much more of that. Here’s someone who loves her unconditionally for who she is, and while that’s made obvious and apparent, she still buys into the thought that maybe he’s lying; maybe this is one elaborate joke in a series of neverending jokes about her. This is totally reflective of actual relationships and the walls we put that prevents us from fully trusting people. She really can do it all; always happy to see her show up.

And keeping with the tradition of Skarsgards wearing a bunch of prosthetics, Alexander Skarsgard plays the wicker husband, and wow, is this some of the best makeup and costume work I’ve seen all year. He looks phenomenal, and the smart sound design that conducts every creak when he moves really brings this character alive. But this walking wicker man is on the softer side, a little oblivious but knows no truth other than his love for the Fisherwoman. A far cry from the dog collars and leather we saw him in earlier this year, but still just as sexy. The wicker man is more of a tool to get this film’s themes across rather than a fully fleshed out character, but he certainly gets the job done, both in the film and in every seat in the theater.

The medieval-esque town the film takes place in is also a lot of fun, being packed with kooky characters known only by their job titles. Everyone delights in making fun of the fisherwoman and spreading gossip, but it’s only because they all have their own individual sadnesses they’re working through. For the women, they’re hardly seen as equals to their male counterparts. While that’s great for some, others wish to be seen as a true partner other than someone just meant to fill a hole in their life. The whole place is a reflection of traditionalism, doing things the same way they’ve been done forever no matter how silly. This is taken to the extreme with giant, metal wedding collars placed on a women’s necks, and a post ceremony tradition where a goat bites a carrot off of the groom’s crotch. It begs the question of why we continue to follow the old ways without really evaluating their necessity. And the same goes for relationships; why does every one of them have to remain in this box when there’s so much variety out there.

And, like I said, this is pretty raunchy, but in a clever way. It’s not just swearing for the sake of swearing or sex for the sake of sex. Both of those things are fine, but I like how the film uses them to contrast a town that almost acts puritan, yet secretly desires something with a bit of an edge. It makes their ostracizing of the fisherwoman all the more nonsensical because they’re not really different in ways that matter. That “looking beyond the mold” idea is kinda the crux of this story, one that doesn’t always come through the cleanest. I think, especially near the end, the messaging gets a bit muddled and unsure of exactly how it wants to leave the story. It also dips way away from the sexuality side of the story, which I think could have been expanded upon much more because of how integral that is to relationships. For how weird and quirky this is, there was definitely more room to get quirkier, but I still really enjoyed what we got.

Heartfelt, debaucherous, and humorous as hell, Wicker is more than a simple “blow up doll come to life” story. It cleverly uses fantasy nonsense to unpack modern relationship toils, both from onlookers and ourselves. It definitely could have gone a little bit farther with its ideas it sets out to challenge, but it isn’t lacking enough to make this anything other than a highly enjoyable and unconventional rom-com. Admittedly, it’s an interesting film to drop in the height of the AI chatbot mass psychosis. But ChatGPT isn’t gonna be able to fix your headboard after you break it every night.

RATING

WICKER? I HARDLY KNOW HER!

Let’s touch nature- I mean, get in touch with nature with a woody, maple leaning whiskey cocktail! The bourbon pairs nicely alongside the sweeter notes of the maple syrup, with a bit of dry vermouth to balance it out. Additionally, I would recommend smoking the cocktail to get much more of a woody complexion from the drink.

INGREDIENTS

• 2oz bourbon (I used a high rye bourbon, you could also use rye whiskey)
• 1/2oz vermouth (dry?)
• 1/4oz amaretto
• 1/2oz maple syrup
• 2 dashes angostura bitters
• 1 sprig rosemary
• SMOKED (I used hickory wood chips)

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Add ingredients to a mixing glass and stir with ice.
2. Strain into rocks glass.
3. Smoke cocktail with your preferred smoking method.
4. Add one large ice cube and garnish with a sprig of rosemary.